Study Break

Lots of interesting happenings in the past week...

1. I got the TA position! I'm really excited about helping the kiddies & make a little extra moola...the best of both worlds. Seriously can not wait for this summer...even Spring Quarter really, having classes from 9-5 is really a major time burden. I've mostly stopped going to morning classes - I think I'm becoming fully nocturnal & our classes are all videotaped so it makes more sense (to me, at least) to stay up until 4 AM studying, sleep until 11, then go to afternoon classes. Our schedule is pretty conducive to doing this too - the classes that I can't miss (neuro lab, anatomy lab, Cancer Bio journal club, Translational Immunology lecture series on Mondays) are all in the afternoon. Then I can go to lab, be more alert & stay for longer :) Really enjoying this plan

2. Went to an actual gay club for the first time Friday night for my lovie D.Kim's birthday...we had gone to a small club before but this was the real homosexual deal. His boyfriend surprised him for his birthday - it was so cute!!! Can I be a gay man? My initial plan was to try and be lezzo but that quickly failed when I was watching (gawking at, maybe?) the male go-go dancers and mourning the loss of a beautiful man who was very much my physical type but also very much gay. Wahhhh :( We decided among the girls that I am probably the least potentially bisexual along with another girl in our group (we're both at 4% lezlike on the sexual spectrum...other chicas are ranging from 12%-17%) Win some, lose some. At least I can say I gave it a shot? Hahaaaa

3. Didn't do as well on my HHD midterm as I wanted to...it's frustrating to study so so SO much & not do really well. I think this part of my education will very much be a work in progress all the time, and a serious learning process. I'll come out super knowledgeable & resilient on the other side though, I think. I hope?

4. Went rock climbing on Thursday! It was tons of fun, but I need to find a consistent belay partner. & I went to this class today called UJam Fitness today that was awesome...lots of salsa, burlesque-y & hip-hop music. I'm going to try to start going to more of the fitness classes they offer in one of the graduate dorms - it's convenient & a good way to get away from staying in LKSC (the med school building) allllll day :)

5. Starting to feel very much like an old lady - I've been getting lots of emails this week about FF stuff for interview weekend & an Honors Program alumni board. WTF, how did this happen so fast!? I'm not ready to be taken seriously yet...I still feel like a 17-year old high school senior sometimes. Really confusing...

6. Realized/realizing that I really want to do research that is super interesting & integrates a lot of different things that I'm interested in. This seems obvious but it's easy to fall into very super sciency research at this stage in my education I think...which doesn't seem 100% interesting to me. I like scientists who research things like pain & stress & happiness and things that are relevant to the public at large. Things that I think would be helpful to learn more about. Not random proteins or signal transduction pathways. Also important but not sure I'd want to do it for my whole life...my latest thought has been to research stress and its physiological role in women's cancers particularly. Our lab is studying caregivers now (typically women who have children w/ very serious diseases) which I think is a really interesting take on cancer bio-related things. I've been thinking more about the type of career I'd like to have and I think this is closer to the realm I'd like to eventually be in...still unsure on whether or not I'd want to go into academia though. Seems like constant pressure for very little reward.

I think this is it? I still want to get a few hours of studying in, straighten my hair, and face mask it up. I've been getting pimples in weird places like my neck & my eyebrow. TMI? Maybe, but it's been totally weird & no me gusta. I think my eyes are getting bad too, the screen looks really blurry right now. Time for an eye exam...

<3 <3

Things I Love About Living In Cali - Saturday Edition

1. I like my family so much more - they're such amusing people when I'm not in the house with them. New hilarious things my niece is saying: "I lost my happy", "I was having a good old time!" (reason why she couldn't stop playing when her preschool teacher told her to line up)...New hilarious thing my father is saying: Calling texting 'pinging' & something else I can't remember...savetime? spacetime?

2. The millions of washers & dryers in Munger! I'm currently doing my laundry in 4 different laundry machines at the same time, how awesome is that!? If I ever become moderately wealthy, this is the very first thing I'm doing in my house. It saves so much time...there's no reason why anyone should do laundry all day!

3. The grand piano in the lobby :) It's nice to be serenaded while you're waiting for the elevator when random people play really gorgeous music. I'd implement this in my future house plan too, except that might be a little pretentious?

Off to try and focus on work! I didn't get anything done yesterday and there's lots of things to do. <3

Oy

I would like a sex schedule from the people upstairs. Seriously. You're actually causing items in my room to shake, this is way too vigorous. When is it okay to go upstairs & knock? Really want to move off campus, I need to find an old lady to live with...that would be more up my alley.

In other news, stayed home today from class & lab to get over whatever flu-ish thing I have going right now. I feel mostly better, with the exception of quick changes in body temperature & a little bit of head weirdness. Drinking a carton of OJ, sleeping, taking NyQuil, watching Woody Allen movies, & eating Jamaican food from my favorite new restaurant Backayard make for a not so bad sick day. There is also the cutest guy who works at Backayard, too bad I just noticed today and totally walked in non-made up & all flulike. Gahh! He's probably in high school or something but still delightful eye candy ;)

Ehh I'm running out of energy to think of other relevant/interesting things that have happened to me this week. I applied for a TA position for the summer - hopefully I'll get it so I can make some dolla dolla bills, work with Dani as the 2 Cancer Bio TA's, and help out refreshingly naive & ambitious high schoolers. I should find out Tuesday! Tracy Yang will also be here, staying with me and Amanda this weekend & interviewing for med school on Monday. Hopefully I won't be too sick and/or too boring with a midterm and a presentation next week...

Time for Oatmeal Cookie Chunk! (Currently experiencing a hot flash, inevitably to be followed by me freezing...) This is the best ice cream known to mankind...I even bonded with the cashier in Safeway over it. <3 <3

Weekend Update

1. Graffiti Party on Friday - so much fun!! Basically everyone wore a white shirt and then we wrote all over each other with highlighters & gel pens and such. There was a preparty/pregame (my lingo is changing gahhhh Stanford) in Lizzy's room, who is one of the 1st year MD ladies. It was so much fun hanging out with that group of girls, I got to learn more about makeup from Casey/Simone (the girls that Alison & I want to incorporate into an awesome quartet!!) & drink Liquoraguan Death Mix (a potent combination of champagne, vodka, and sugar-free Red Bull. whoa dude) What an amazing Friday night

2. Saturday, I went to PureMovement which was a dance performance that was awesome!! And free, which only added to the awesomeness. The dancers were incredible and the guys' bodies were amazing. Such good eye candy ;)

3. Today, I went to a potluck with lots of delicious goodies & now I'm trying to be productive and get most of the things done on my to-do list for today. I'm doing pretty well so far ;)

Overall, a nicely balanced weekend with equal parts of fun and productivity. Here's to starting the week off right!

<3

Neuro=Cookies

The person upstairs is making SO.MUCH.NOISE. Sex? Jumping jacks? Hammering something? Whatever it is, I mentally implore you to stop. I would walk upstairs but I'm not good at the whole jerky neighbor thing. I've had some very aggressive reactions to noise lately (the people I can hear outside my window in the courtyard, the trucks that I hear every.single.morning., general interruptions to me thinking/studying/sleeping) which I think is an indication that I need to move into a quiet, residential area prontooooo. I really want to get an apartment sooner rather than later. And I'll definitely be getting a place by myself. Munger is not the place for me. And neither is anything with more than 1 bedroom. My roommate is okay, but she's getting progressively messier/lazier and even though I'm not the cleanest, most efficient person in the world, it's getting a little too annoying. Really not good at dealing with other people's shortcomings. I also don't like people trying to keep track of me (i.e, "I never see you!" Uh, duh? I'm taking 25 hours and doing research, I only see the people who are in those places. I didn't come to grad school to become MORE social...) #endofrant

We get cookies every week after neuro lab, hooray!!! I think this is a great way to encourage attendance and general happiness about the material. Not sure why everyone is not doing the same for our classes? This is also one of the few classes, maybe the only class, I have with a combination of med students, grad students and undergrads. It's fun :) I'm also trying to keep up with the neuro stuff so it wasn't too too confusing today. I always love it when that happens...

LONG WEEKEND COMING!! "Eurotrash" party tomorrow (still have to figure out what that means) and probably just sleeping and studying besides that. I loooovvveeee having a day off, even though I'll probably still go to lab on Monday? Study time!

<3

1.11.11.

One of my classmates made the astute observation that we only have more year when we'll get this repeating date phenomenon (although technically, he should have waited until November to say such a thing). I mean, until the year 3000. Which I probably won't be around then & I'm thinking you guys won't either. Sad that there's no 13th month so we can keep this thing going. So sad, I'll miss it.

The New Things:
I really don't enjoy when people call me a bitch. Even jokingly. One of my friends did that today in class and it bothered me. Which is weird, bc I think it's really funny when someone says something about another person/group of people & I get to say "betch/betches". I don't know why the word "bitch" sounds so much harsher than saying "betch". Mean Girls maybe?

We've coined this new term here at Stanford, "sniper". Similar to gunner but different in one very important way - a sniper keeps his/her lofty study goals private. My goal this quarter? To be a sniper. I don't want to be hypercompetitive in the least but I really want to stay on top of everything this quarter - I've been trying to pre-read for lectures and take lots of notes in class and go a little bit above and beyond to make sure I'm doing well this quarter. Jasmaine = sniper until further notice...

I've been watching Bones as my newest NetFlix obsession!

Anatomy of the head and neck is not as disturbing as I anticipated. We dissected most of the scalp & around the eyes today...it helps that the eyes look nothing like a living human being's eyes. Doesn't help that our man has stubble...it humanizes him just a little bit too much. Still, it's very interesting. Especially with my dad having Bell's Palsy right now, I care about the facial nerve (Cranial Nerve VII dudes) just a little bit more than I would normally.

I think that's it? Really excited for the long weekend. Might be going up to Berkeley to hang out on Sunday. There's a party this weekend too (apparently, there's a party every weekend this quarter) but I think I might need to get some rest in. We'll see.

LATA DUDES

Weekend Montage

Here's a series of pictures to describe the past week/weekend (and/or document my complete boredom with biochemistry...) All my greatest OCD fantasies have been fulfilled with studying for this test...

We also went out last night, met a cute boy :) Sleep time, biochem final in the morning!!

PS: Who knew the thermal camera on my iMac was totally legit?!

Being alive is a good thing

So there was an ACTUAL close call yesterday...my sister called yesterday & said that she thought my dad might be having a stroke. I freaked out!! That is literally my worst fear - that something will happen at home & I'm in Cali and can't get back in time for it. Anyways everything is fine...he's been diagnosed with Bell's Palsy (which we did out in Cali way before the people at Northside Hospital did in GA, Stanford med students & physicians don't even NEED all those fancy tests lol) which is also known as idiopathic facial paralysis, which means nobody knows what causes it or how to really treat it. He's fine & I'm mucho happy about that.

We (me, Tania, Alison) randomly went out to this place called Monte Carlo last night, just to get away from the perpetual med student crowd and hang around new people. It ended up being this club fullll of Spanish people who all knew the same dances so when this band started playing, we just sat around and watched. It was actually one of the most entertaining things I've seen in awhile. Such intimate dancing too! It was astounding... I'm planning on a chill weekend to sleep & catch up with work. We have a Biochem final on the 8th & even though it's Halloween weekend, I really just need to hang out in my room and get things done. Sometimes you need weekends like this, I have to remind myself of that since there's something going on EVERY single weekend!!

Also loving my lab - I can't wait till I get to start doing mouse work but I'm really starting to understand more of the project and the technical details so that's always a good thing. I'm probably going to go in and do some work later today :) My PI also emailed me to make sure my dad was okay, which I thought was a very nice gesture. Such thesis lab potential!! Anyways that's all the updates - not too many this time around (less drama=great thing, at least for now)

<3

PS: Freaking in love with Ray Lamontagne right now. Holy gee - why has no one told me about him yet??

Busy, busy week!

So I finally started in lab this week :) *the big jazz smile* I love love love it! I'm getting to do flow cytometry, which is a technique that I've been wanting to master. I love how much it equally requires precision & an understanding of exactly what you're looking for and why. BIG PICTURE: I'm working on a study with end-stage breast cancer patients where their sleep patterns are being monitored over the course of 24 hours. The thought is that your circadian rhythms & immune system are intimately intertwined & that by monitoring these patients (along with "normal" patients), we'll be able to quantify how & when these patterns are disturbed along the course of their individual diseases. Sad part though - in order to really understand the predictive capacity & complicated relationships of all the markers we're looking at, I'm pretty sure the patients would have to die :( I don't understand nearly everything yet, and we OBVIOUSLY hope that everyone lives (& the physicians are doing everything they can to make sure that's the case), but that is a sad and inevitable part of science/life. I'm pretty sure the goal is to understand these patterns & later to learn how to manipulate them in order to avoid the sucky part of cancer (death). I'm really interested in quality of life issues too though so I'm curious to see where that fits in...

It's basically the kind of work that I want to drown myself in & I really hope I start to understand every intricacy of the data & biology behind it. Unfortunately, life in medical school does not allow for that. This is the small part of me that just wishes I was doing graduate school things...I'd only be taking two classes & able to really jump into research. I still am really happy that I'm doing the MoM program-it will help me understand all the clinical correlations for our research which I think is necessary. Just sucks that I don't have more time...

In other news, I had a very strange epiphany/feeling/realization last night that I realize might sound like "jazz hates men" but I think it's actually a rational one. Or a protective one, maybe. But it's not coming from a bitter place. I think I've come to the conclusion that I would be okay with being a single woman forever.

Would I miss snuggles & kisses? Yes.
Would I miss lies? No.

I'm just not sure that I believe that I could/will find a guy who I am insanely attracted to, completely honest with, & totally in love with the person that he actually is. AND who would be worth investing in. It seems improbable. I've had a lot of high hopes for a lot of guys & it's exhausting. I don't think it's worth it to invest all this energy in a person to eventually be let down. I don't think that has anything to do with any of the guys individually being inherently bad people but maybe it has to do with all men. Or all people (I haven't been in a relationship with a chica, so I can't speak to that...) I feel like your attention & energy is much better spent elsewhere (curing cancer? dancing? learning new hobbies? anything) than fervently hoping that the perfect man will come along & trying to make every guy into "THE ONE". It's silly & when I think about my life and how I want it to go, I feel like I'd be incredibly happy with being an amazing scientist, an influential professor, an awesome aunt, a loyal friend, a caring sister, a good daughter, (a dog-owner?) & maybe even a great mom (we learned about in-vitro this week...haven't fully decided on that yet). But I don't feel like I really NEED to be a girlfriend/fiance/wife.

All these thoughts stemmed from a conversation about relationships last night with some med school amigos, & I can see that a lot of people really want or maybe even need that in their lives. I'm not sure that I do. I like the feeling of having crushes on guys but I recognize that I'm a difficult lady to be with. I think most guys who end up being attracted to me realize that too...they always say "oh you're the perfect woman", "I don't understand why guys aren't treating you like a princess" and so on but they never actually do it themselves...? I am ambitious & selfish & irrational & crazy and lots of other complicated, random things. & it doesn't scare me that I would never get married. I think that frightens a lot of people. So maybe I should just tap out of the relationship race and let another (lonelier?) girl take the guy that I would eventually end up settling down with. Who knows? Just my recent thoughts...

LAST THING - there is a party tonight that is going to be C-R-A-Z-Y. There is $200+ worth of alcohol in MarkyMark's room right now & I am nervous to see what is going to happen with everyone's livers. And bodies. There was a breach of a certain med student's relationship contract at the last party in Mark's room so we'll see what happens tonight. I'm just excited to dance (mostly with Mark, who likes boys? bahaaaa) I don't know when I started to like dancing (I never went out "dancing" in GA & I even wrote about how I didn't really like it in some post on here) but it's a great stress reliever now and I have tons of fun with Mark. So I'll be there in a couple of hours & hopefully alive tomorrow morning. Someone check on that in about 16 hours...

Anyways, miss you all!! <3

Hallelujah!

The week is looking up :) Still 10 million things to do, but I feel much better about all of them now. So updates from the last post:

1. Still have to apply for NSF but I don't have to worry so much about my Stanford recommender anymore after talking to my program director which is nice. I still need to get everything together for it though...I'm also applying for the Ford Foundation Fellowship so maybe one of them will work out?

2. Got an email at 1:22 this morning from my dream PI saying "Welcome to the lab!" WAHOOOO!!! I guess I was going through some screening process I was unaware of but they must like me at least a little bit. So excited! I'm hopefully starting work this week. Can.Not.Wait.!! I really love the work they're doing & I'm just anxious to be a lab rat again.

3. Moonlighting was pretty awesome! So fun hanging out with everyone as usual, a few drunken mishaps but nothing major...overall wonderful :) I'll post a pic at the end of this

4. Just got back from brunch & grocery shopping...it's rainy outside today so I'm not feeling like going to the potluck for BGSA & I didn't end up going to the Shaking the Foundations thing for the law school since I was pretty busy Friday & Saturday. (By busy, I partially mean napping...)

5. Generally feel much happier & back in balance again...what a nice feeling :) Here's to trying to keep that up throughout the week

Good times! Off to try & get work done before the napping feelings take over. Adios <3

Don't you love it when...

...your week completely implodes? No? Me neither...

Summary of this week's events:
1. Found out I'm REQUIRED to apply for an NSF graduate fellowship this year. Not strongly encouraged. Not "You're a great applicant, you should definitely do it". R-e-q-u-i-r-e-d. By the Cancer Biology program. Ooh, also? IT'S DUE IN A MONTH. Not happy about this, especially since I'm not even on the Cancer Biology training grant!! I wouldn't even be saving them money by winning the fellowship. Moving on...

2. Still not working in lab. I'm ultra-sensitive about this right now. I went to meet with the lab manager in the lab I realllyyyy want to be in & basically told them that I would do whatever they need me to be doing. They're being really deliberate & considerate of my currently busy schedule & want to make sure I have a good experience which is great but I just want to be working again! One of my fellow MOM students made me feel so bad about it today...she was like "How's your rotation going?" I told her that I hadn't officially started in the lab yet & she slowly looked at her watch and goes "Oh...isn't it the third week of the quarter already?" GAHHHH YES I KNOW THIS WOMAN!! She's also Singaporean (sp?), spent time at Oxford & is generally socially strange. Her introduction to this conversation with me was "Well, no one is talking to me & everyone wants to be talking to you so I'm coming over here". Should have seen something ridiculous coming...I should have taken it with a grain of salt but it really got under my skin.

3. Guy in my class that's randomly been doing awkward things/saying awkward things? He has a girlfriend! Recently discovered by everyone in the class. That makes so many of our interactions so freaking inappropriate & I am not happy that I was involuntarily (in terms of ignorance, not being coerced into doing anything) involved in this breach of relationship contract. Ugh! Future plans include ignoring him indefinitely.

4. Guy from middle school/high school that came back full force over Christmas? HEYYY he sent me a little textie last night. Of course! Convo:

- Him: Can you believe it's about to be a year? I just drove past waffle house and thought about you.
*Jazz Thoughts: So glad I remind you of WaHo? Classyyyy...

- Me: :) you confuse me BP...I never understood your thoughts on the whole situation since you like to keep things mysterious.

-Him: I do and I'm really kicking myself for that now. *shrug* :)
*Jazz Thoughts: I don't understand why you're not more apologetic about this...

-Me: Mystery is overrated dude, you were supposed to be the honest one? :(

-Him: It's funny cause I want to be to you. Not for anyone else though. I just got into the habit of mysteriousness. I don't always mean to do it.
*Jazz Thoughts: Aww, so sweet!!! Wait, not sweet. NOT sweet. You're the one that keeps saying you're going to do something & then not doing it.

- Him: When are you going to be in GA again?
*Jazz Thoughts: Trouble.

- Me: Mm either way, you're equally good at it...I'll be home for Thanksgiving definitely, hopefully Christmas too

- Him: Nice. Alright. It's mad early/late. Peace
*Jazz Thoughts: Oh my freaking gee you're the one that texted me fool! Way to insert yourself into my life again & leave quickly againnnn

- Me: Bye [name has been redacted from the text record]

Overall thoughts about this: WTF?!

5. The redeeming fact for this week so far - I did sign up to teach a class at this event they have every year called SPLASH! My class is on making vision boards & I'm hoping it will be super productive, both for me & for the little kiddies I'll be teaching for a day. I'm really excited about it.



Predictions for the rest of this week's events:
1. Severeeeee alcoholism. (!!!)
2. Formal! I'm actually excited. I think it will be really beautiful, even though there's also this drama swirling. We're going to dinner before with 30 people. Geez! I'm excited to wear my dress, hopefully I'll be feeling like a pretty pretty princess (Kaiya style)
3. A few cute things this weekend besides formal - a brunch with mi amiga que habla espanol y otros companeros and also a potluck at one of the girls' houses who is in BGSA. So cultural! I need to expand past my Asian boundaries lol...also a conference w/ the law school called Shaking the Foundations that should have a few interesting panels and delicious food!
4. I think I'm going to try and reserve tomorrow for restoring sanity. It's time to revamp jazzy maintenance days. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this yet - maybe a walk around The Dish or a delicious meal or a good movie. Something to get me back to my normal again. And hopefully also a little bit of productivity...I've felt so off this week & I hate that feeling.

Anyways, back to work now! I'm going to try & go to bed in the next hour or so, I think I need to be getting more sleep. Last thing - watch this video if you haven't seen it already, it's really great & I think he discusses a lot of the reasons why this recent wave of suicides is so devastating. As always with YouTube videos, ignore the comments below the video. So symptomatic of the problems we have in this country, people are nutso...

Lovesies!! <3

Kudos to You

I'm always in awe of people who can carry on entertaining, brief, non-awkward elevator conversations. Props Munger Mystery Boy!

Summary for the day:
1. Problem sets & quizzes galore...holy moly, there is a TON of homework I have due today.
2. Unexpected catch-up with a friend ;)
3. Grocery shopping at Trader Joe's
4. An awesome nap...I think I skip directly to REM sleep now which is stupendous (!!!)
5. A generally beautiful day

Awkward boy situation #1 is still in effect...there is another something weird happening with a different guy in the class which was in part initiated by alcohol but also feels more comfortable. (This could be due to the fact that the first guy does not say many words...) The 2nd guy just broke up with his girlfriend recently though so I must be wary of the rebound syndrome! Life is so ridiculous sometimes. & prom is this Saturday! It actually feels like 8th grade prom too, which is the strange part. & it's at the San Fran aquarium. This is my dress (except it's in gypsy pink!! I look weird in dark greys) I'm really excited, I think it will be nice and probably crazy too.

Last little piece of news - my research soulmate has yet to email me back to tell me that he loves me too...haha this feels so much like waiting around for a guy you like to text you back. Come on!! I'm ready to be in the lab again :( I've been meeting with other potential PI's when I already know my true love (I think)

Back to LOD scores...

<3

Proof!

...that I still have hair, a tendency for red eye & ridiculous amounts of fun at themed parties :)

It's Friday?!

The weekends feel so much different here - we're either going out like crazy (see last week's party bus trip to San Fran) or planning to spend our lives studying in LKSC. I think this weekend may be a more balanced one. Today has been a great day...review session this morning, one class, lunch w/ the Black Graduate Students' Association (BGSA), nap, studying, Q&A session with my regular group + 2, dinner with one of my favorite guys in the class (there were two guys there, but I especially love one) & going to see The Social Network in a couple of hours.

I really loved the dinner conversation I had tonight with my previously mentioned amazing friend...he's from Georgia as well (Conyers, actually) & went to Harvard for undergrad & really interested in neuroscience-y things. So he told me about this research that he's getting set up to work with prisoners & the idea that their reward systems have been completely skewed their entire lives so their pleasure now hinges on the actual acquisition of material goods (i.e, the thrill is no longer in the chase like it is for a lot of people). He also told me about some cool neuro studies they've done with decision making & the idea that your conscious decision is made after the neurological processes to enact that decision has already been triggered. Blablabla science jargon, but basically that threatens the idea of free will. Right? We think we're deciding but the decision is made & the set of stimuli that go into making that decision are actually the decisive agent, not you as an autonomous individual.

I guess this stuck with me for two reasons -
1) I am absolutely in admiration of people who are incorporating all their passions into their careers. I think it's amazing & amazingly difficult to do. There are so many things I'm interested in (advances in cancer research, incorporation of faith into treatment regimes, women's issues, how to promote minority access to the latest developments in health, a few other things I think) & I don't know how to begin working that into my graduate training. Of course you're meant to use this 4(..5..6?) years to really become a good scientist & to learn how to think, which is critical. But I also want to think about how to live a completely fulfilled life, and I think incorporating all your passions into your work (which I think defines your life's purpose in a lot of ways, or at least it should) is essential for that. So the conversation made me think towards how I can do that for myself.
2) If free will is a rational reaction to human existence (like I think religion is in a lot of ways), then feeling guilty is pointless! Small fact, I know, but that combined with a few other conversations I've had this week was a really interesting thought.

Said friend (his name is Mark, I feel like I should maybe stop calling him friend) also helped me untangle some of the things I've been thinking about a particular guy. He's super perceptive & really interested in human behavior (hence the neuro stuff) so I told him about everything that's been happening with this guy & was more honest than I think I've been with anything else about why I've been reacting certain ways and he helped me get down to the roots of my behavior. Bleh! Scary, but necessary. Love that guy ;)

Alsoooo the lunch with BGSA was really nice...that's something that I kind of avoided in undergrad for a lot of reasons (mostly for the effect that has on your social network & how much you have to consider your "reputation") but it's definitely something I want to get involved with more here. I met a few cool people but just like a lot of these introductory events I've been going to, people tended to stick around the people they already knew. Which is totally fine & reasonable but it makes it difficult to get to know people who aren't in the School of Medicine. I love my classmates but...I need more people. LOL

Mm I think that's it? Really loving my hip-hop class...the freedom & distraction of movement is a nice complement to the tedium of classes. Plus a great workout! My abs have been sore for two weeks straight..I'm also going to get my hair done in San Fran tomorrow & really hoping it doesn't fall out. Bald Jazz <<<< Jazz with hair

Time for ze movieee! Interesting too, since Mark Zuckerberg can't live more than 15 minutes away from me & I'm going to see a movie about his life. Weird stuff

Miss you people! <3