Haven't written an entry in over a month - whoa dude! This is what my life has consisted of lately (and if you look closely, you can see my pink & black headbands in the same row with my friend Hong-An in the pink shirt! This is our Neuro exam & yes, Stanford provided us with the rows and rows of MacBook Pros...too much)
There's so much I COULD write about - it's currently 4:38 in the morning & I can't sleep. I've gotten used to the finals schedule and can't get off of my screwed-up sleep/wake cycle just yet. EFFFF I hope this resolves itself soon. There have been boy problems, a lot of interesting life revelations especially the past 2/3 days, and general updates galore. BUT...my brain hurts. So this update is just a "Hey! I'm still alive" one - a real one with actual content to come soon :)
<3
Showing posts with label California living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label California living. Show all posts
Friday, March 18, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Quick Updates
Ehh...life is seriously picking up the pace. We're entering crunch time now in classes & I am trying to be as studious as I know how and reviewing with lots of Winter Quarter experts.
I missed a meeting today with the director of the MoM program, gahh! I hate missing meetings :( I don't know that I've ever completely missed a meeting I intended to go to? Luckily he had extra time in the afternoon. It wasn't exactly a stress-free meeting - he asked why I was rotating this quarter since everyone is so busy and complains a lot about the amount of work we have. It's hard because I guess I got used to the FF/Honors style of doing things, where you knew exactly what to do and if you didn't, you always knew who would have the answers. That hasn't really been the case thus far, which is frustrating :( I really wish I had more communication with my home department and/or more general direction...
...and lab. Oh lab! I think the love affair might be over - I feel like I'm working REALLY hard in this lab on top of all my school work but I'm starting to have doubts about whether or not this is the right fit for me as a graduate student. I was proud of myself today for finally finishing a big part of the data analysis but when I sent it to my PI, the response was not "Here are some suggestions, keep up the good work!" but "Here are 9 more things to do." I'm not sure he read the email I sent him? Some of the things he told me to do were things that I told him I needed to do in the email...I absolutely love the research & the approach we're taking but there are some things I am starting to hear from the lab members and styles of communication that are concerning to me, especially considering this for the long haul. I'm excited to see how my next rotation goes w/ Max Diehn in the spring, he's very laidback but knowledgeable and explains things clearly. He also is housed in the newest building on the med school campus - the Lokey Stem Cell Center, which is apparently a good sign according to some fellow grad students. Can't wait! I also can't wait for Spring quarter in general: more time (!), fewer classes (!!), better weather (!!!). Right now, it sounds like a dream :)
It's frustrating to me because the more I learn about new things, the more I really love research and the idea of research. BUT I can't seem to find a lab with that "it" factor: an invested mentor, a pretty interesting project, and a good composition of lab members. Such a tough task! I'm 100% ready and willing to spend long nights in lab...I kinda love that stuff? I just wish I had the time to do it and the right mentor/lab to do it with.
'tis all, time to study! <3 <3
I missed a meeting today with the director of the MoM program, gahh! I hate missing meetings :( I don't know that I've ever completely missed a meeting I intended to go to? Luckily he had extra time in the afternoon. It wasn't exactly a stress-free meeting - he asked why I was rotating this quarter since everyone is so busy and complains a lot about the amount of work we have. It's hard because I guess I got used to the FF/Honors style of doing things, where you knew exactly what to do and if you didn't, you always knew who would have the answers. That hasn't really been the case thus far, which is frustrating :( I really wish I had more communication with my home department and/or more general direction...
...and lab. Oh lab! I think the love affair might be over - I feel like I'm working REALLY hard in this lab on top of all my school work but I'm starting to have doubts about whether or not this is the right fit for me as a graduate student. I was proud of myself today for finally finishing a big part of the data analysis but when I sent it to my PI, the response was not "Here are some suggestions, keep up the good work!" but "Here are 9 more things to do." I'm not sure he read the email I sent him? Some of the things he told me to do were things that I told him I needed to do in the email...I absolutely love the research & the approach we're taking but there are some things I am starting to hear from the lab members and styles of communication that are concerning to me, especially considering this for the long haul. I'm excited to see how my next rotation goes w/ Max Diehn in the spring, he's very laidback but knowledgeable and explains things clearly. He also is housed in the newest building on the med school campus - the Lokey Stem Cell Center, which is apparently a good sign according to some fellow grad students. Can't wait! I also can't wait for Spring quarter in general: more time (!), fewer classes (!!), better weather (!!!). Right now, it sounds like a dream :)
It's frustrating to me because the more I learn about new things, the more I really love research and the idea of research. BUT I can't seem to find a lab with that "it" factor: an invested mentor, a pretty interesting project, and a good composition of lab members. Such a tough task! I'm 100% ready and willing to spend long nights in lab...I kinda love that stuff? I just wish I had the time to do it and the right mentor/lab to do it with.
'tis all, time to study! <3 <3
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Study Break
Lots of interesting happenings in the past week...
1. I got the TA position! I'm really excited about helping the kiddies & make a little extra moola...the best of both worlds. Seriously can not wait for this summer...even Spring Quarter really, having classes from 9-5 is really a major time burden. I've mostly stopped going to morning classes - I think I'm becoming fully nocturnal & our classes are all videotaped so it makes more sense (to me, at least) to stay up until 4 AM studying, sleep until 11, then go to afternoon classes. Our schedule is pretty conducive to doing this too - the classes that I can't miss (neuro lab, anatomy lab, Cancer Bio journal club, Translational Immunology lecture series on Mondays) are all in the afternoon. Then I can go to lab, be more alert & stay for longer :) Really enjoying this plan
2. Went to an actual gay club for the first time Friday night for my lovie D.Kim's birthday...we had gone to a small club before but this was the real homosexual deal. His boyfriend surprised him for his birthday - it was so cute!!! Can I be a gay man? My initial plan was to try and be lezzo but that quickly failed when I was watching (gawking at, maybe?) the male go-go dancers and mourning the loss of a beautiful man who was very much my physical type but also very much gay. Wahhhh :( We decided among the girls that I am probably the least potentially bisexual along with another girl in our group (we're both at 4% lezlike on the sexual spectrum...other chicas are ranging from 12%-17%) Win some, lose some. At least I can say I gave it a shot? Hahaaaa
3. Didn't do as well on my HHD midterm as I wanted to...it's frustrating to study so so SO much & not do really well. I think this part of my education will very much be a work in progress all the time, and a serious learning process. I'll come out super knowledgeable & resilient on the other side though, I think. I hope?
4. Went rock climbing on Thursday! It was tons of fun, but I need to find a consistent belay partner. & I went to this class today called UJam Fitness today that was awesome...lots of salsa, burlesque-y & hip-hop music. I'm going to try to start going to more of the fitness classes they offer in one of the graduate dorms - it's convenient & a good way to get away from staying in LKSC (the med school building) allllll day :)
5. Starting to feel very much like an old lady - I've been getting lots of emails this week about FF stuff for interview weekend & an Honors Program alumni board. WTF, how did this happen so fast!? I'm not ready to be taken seriously yet...I still feel like a 17-year old high school senior sometimes. Really confusing...
6. Realized/realizing that I really want to do research that is super interesting & integrates a lot of different things that I'm interested in. This seems obvious but it's easy to fall into very super sciency research at this stage in my education I think...which doesn't seem 100% interesting to me. I like scientists who research things like pain & stress & happiness and things that are relevant to the public at large. Things that I think would be helpful to learn more about. Not random proteins or signal transduction pathways. Also important but not sure I'd want to do it for my whole life...my latest thought has been to research stress and its physiological role in women's cancers particularly. Our lab is studying caregivers now (typically women who have children w/ very serious diseases) which I think is a really interesting take on cancer bio-related things. I've been thinking more about the type of career I'd like to have and I think this is closer to the realm I'd like to eventually be in...still unsure on whether or not I'd want to go into academia though. Seems like constant pressure for very little reward.
I think this is it? I still want to get a few hours of studying in, straighten my hair, and face mask it up. I've been getting pimples in weird places like my neck & my eyebrow. TMI? Maybe, but it's been totally weird & no me gusta. I think my eyes are getting bad too, the screen looks really blurry right now. Time for an eye exam...
<3 <3
1. I got the TA position! I'm really excited about helping the kiddies & make a little extra moola...the best of both worlds. Seriously can not wait for this summer...even Spring Quarter really, having classes from 9-5 is really a major time burden. I've mostly stopped going to morning classes - I think I'm becoming fully nocturnal & our classes are all videotaped so it makes more sense (to me, at least) to stay up until 4 AM studying, sleep until 11, then go to afternoon classes. Our schedule is pretty conducive to doing this too - the classes that I can't miss (neuro lab, anatomy lab, Cancer Bio journal club, Translational Immunology lecture series on Mondays) are all in the afternoon. Then I can go to lab, be more alert & stay for longer :) Really enjoying this plan
2. Went to an actual gay club for the first time Friday night for my lovie D.Kim's birthday...we had gone to a small club before but this was the real homosexual deal. His boyfriend surprised him for his birthday - it was so cute!!! Can I be a gay man? My initial plan was to try and be lezzo but that quickly failed when I was watching (gawking at, maybe?) the male go-go dancers and mourning the loss of a beautiful man who was very much my physical type but also very much gay. Wahhhh :( We decided among the girls that I am probably the least potentially bisexual along with another girl in our group (we're both at 4% lezlike on the sexual spectrum...other chicas are ranging from 12%-17%) Win some, lose some. At least I can say I gave it a shot? Hahaaaa
3. Didn't do as well on my HHD midterm as I wanted to...it's frustrating to study so so SO much & not do really well. I think this part of my education will very much be a work in progress all the time, and a serious learning process. I'll come out super knowledgeable & resilient on the other side though, I think. I hope?
4. Went rock climbing on Thursday! It was tons of fun, but I need to find a consistent belay partner. & I went to this class today called UJam Fitness today that was awesome...lots of salsa, burlesque-y & hip-hop music. I'm going to try to start going to more of the fitness classes they offer in one of the graduate dorms - it's convenient & a good way to get away from staying in LKSC (the med school building) allllll day :)
5. Starting to feel very much like an old lady - I've been getting lots of emails this week about FF stuff for interview weekend & an Honors Program alumni board. WTF, how did this happen so fast!? I'm not ready to be taken seriously yet...I still feel like a 17-year old high school senior sometimes. Really confusing...
6. Realized/realizing that I really want to do research that is super interesting & integrates a lot of different things that I'm interested in. This seems obvious but it's easy to fall into very super sciency research at this stage in my education I think...which doesn't seem 100% interesting to me. I like scientists who research things like pain & stress & happiness and things that are relevant to the public at large. Things that I think would be helpful to learn more about. Not random proteins or signal transduction pathways. Also important but not sure I'd want to do it for my whole life...my latest thought has been to research stress and its physiological role in women's cancers particularly. Our lab is studying caregivers now (typically women who have children w/ very serious diseases) which I think is a really interesting take on cancer bio-related things. I've been thinking more about the type of career I'd like to have and I think this is closer to the realm I'd like to eventually be in...still unsure on whether or not I'd want to go into academia though. Seems like constant pressure for very little reward.
I think this is it? I still want to get a few hours of studying in, straighten my hair, and face mask it up. I've been getting pimples in weird places like my neck & my eyebrow. TMI? Maybe, but it's been totally weird & no me gusta. I think my eyes are getting bad too, the screen looks really blurry right now. Time for an eye exam...
<3 <3
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Things I Love About Living In Cali - Saturday Edition
1. I like my family so much more - they're such amusing people when I'm not in the house with them. New hilarious things my niece is saying: "I lost my happy", "I was having a good old time!" (reason why she couldn't stop playing when her preschool teacher told her to line up)...New hilarious thing my father is saying: Calling texting 'pinging' & something else I can't remember...savetime? spacetime?
2. The millions of washers & dryers in Munger! I'm currently doing my laundry in 4 different laundry machines at the same time, how awesome is that!? If I ever become moderately wealthy, this is the very first thing I'm doing in my house. It saves so much time...there's no reason why anyone should do laundry all day!
3. The grand piano in the lobby :) It's nice to be serenaded while you're waiting for the elevator when random people play really gorgeous music. I'd implement this in my future house plan too, except that might be a little pretentious?
Off to try and focus on work! I didn't get anything done yesterday and there's lots of things to do. <3
2. The millions of washers & dryers in Munger! I'm currently doing my laundry in 4 different laundry machines at the same time, how awesome is that!? If I ever become moderately wealthy, this is the very first thing I'm doing in my house. It saves so much time...there's no reason why anyone should do laundry all day!
3. The grand piano in the lobby :) It's nice to be serenaded while you're waiting for the elevator when random people play really gorgeous music. I'd implement this in my future house plan too, except that might be a little pretentious?
Off to try and focus on work! I didn't get anything done yesterday and there's lots of things to do. <3
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Weekend Update
1. Graffiti Party on Friday - so much fun!! Basically everyone wore a white shirt and then we wrote all over each other with highlighters & gel pens and such. There was a preparty/pregame (my lingo is changing gahhhh Stanford) in Lizzy's room, who is one of the 1st year MD ladies. It was so much fun hanging out with that group of girls, I got to learn more about makeup from Casey/Simone (the girls that Alison & I want to incorporate into an awesome quartet!!) & drink Liquoraguan Death Mix (a potent combination of champagne, vodka, and sugar-free Red Bull. whoa dude) What an amazing Friday night
2. Saturday, I went to PureMovement which was a dance performance that was awesome!! And free, which only added to the awesomeness. The dancers were incredible and the guys' bodies were amazing. Such good eye candy ;)
3. Today, I went to a potluck with lots of delicious goodies & now I'm trying to be productive and get most of the things done on my to-do list for today. I'm doing pretty well so far ;)
Overall, a nicely balanced weekend with equal parts of fun and productivity. Here's to starting the week off right!
<3
2. Saturday, I went to PureMovement which was a dance performance that was awesome!! And free, which only added to the awesomeness. The dancers were incredible and the guys' bodies were amazing. Such good eye candy ;)
3. Today, I went to a potluck with lots of delicious goodies & now I'm trying to be productive and get most of the things done on my to-do list for today. I'm doing pretty well so far ;)
Overall, a nicely balanced weekend with equal parts of fun and productivity. Here's to starting the week off right!
<3
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Reader Discretion Advised
EVENTS OF THE DAY:
1. Sawed off a man's skull.
2. Went to AsiaSF for Dine About Town with med school peeps for dinner tonight...this is a restaurant where all of the waitresses are transgender ladies
3. Had a very graphic/interesting conversation about heterosexual male sexual preferences from my favorite homosexual male at Stanford (well, maybe tied? there's two faves). Wtf, I thought I'd heard it all then he told me about "donkey punch" !?!!?
Needless to say, today has been quite an interesting day. Anatomy was slightly disturbing - not worse than the day we sawed off the legs for me but a very close second. The lab was filled with what looked like a combination of saw dust & parmesan cheese (sorry for the potentially inappropriate food reference...) while everyone was busy sawing through their skulls. The smell was really the worst part of it all...it was unexpected and unlike any other smell we've experience thus far in lab. The smoke from incinerating the bits of skin left on the skull is apparently why it smelled so...strangely?...and I really did not expect that. I put a mask on pronto. I tried to use the bone saw for a little bit in my group but I don't think I have enough upper body strength for it & having to try and force it only made the whole situation that much more real. I opted for skinning the skull instead (which I realize may not sound like a more humane task, but it really is). A few of the MD peeps posted about how incredible it is that someone would donate their body for this type of learning, which I fully agree with. They also said that they asked about how to donate their bodies after lab, which I still think I will never do. Totally down with someone else using my organs after I'm done with them but something about what we're doing to their bodies seems like you'd never be able to rest in peace. There were quite a few times in lab today where we had to turn him over to saw a specific part of his skull or look at this particular cranial nerve & since we still have his entire torso (as opposed to just his head, like most of the other groups) but only concerned with his head academically, it was impossible to flip him over without his intestines falling out one way or his heart rolling across the table. I don't think it's so much a religious/moral issue for me with donating my body to science as it is how I'd like to treat any prized possession I've had my entire life. If someone else wanted to take my favorite piece of jewelry or pair of jeans & wear them after I was done, I'd be okay with that. I wouldn't want them to just hack it up to see what the insides look like? Meh, different strokes for different folks...
Again, DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS! AsiaSF was very very interesting...the girls were mostly in amazing shape. Makes a girl want to work out! (maybe) One of the girls had apparently just gotten the final shebang so there were lots of references to "the grand opening" and the fact she had "an extra pair of lips". Gahhhh so caught off guard! Fun night though, even though the food wasn't super super delicious. I'm sure there will be pics on fb soon ;)
Sex is such a weird thing. Right? I understand it's basic to human survival or whatever but I think I have such a strange group of friends that I'm never quite sure how to feel about it as a conversation topic. I have two, maybe three, distinct groups of friends when it comes to sexual opinions - (1) Sex is bad/morally wrong-ish before marriage. (2) Sex is good. It happens. People probably shouldn't discuss it publicly and/or enjoy it too much though. (3) Sex is a-m-a-z-i-n-g!!! Do wild crazy unimaginable, possibly illegal things.
I think moving from a small town (Stockbridge) to a more liberal town (Athens), and then from the South (Georgia) to the West Coast (Cali) is really a study in the breadth of sexual opinions. I think my initial high school discussions of sex were pretty frank...I was friends with girls who were pretty much in the same sexual boat, with us all having our first serious boyfriends (I think?) and figuring out what sex meant & what our boundaries were and how far we could push things with still living in our parents' houses. My parents had never really talked to me about sex & with a shockingly pregnant sister in the house senior year of high school, there was really no time to discuss these types of things with la madre. Great. Fast-forward to freshman year at UGA, where I had this really serious boyfriend & mostly single friends, and all of a sudden I was the most experienced one among the people I hung out with. Huh!? I remember being really uncomfortable with that, and feeling the need to lie because I was still confused about a lot of sexual things when there was no one to discuss it with. Then I was relatively single for junior & senior year of undergrad when a lot of my friends decided it was a good time to get into their first serious relationships. I think there's some disadvantages to doing this later in young adulthood but I think one major advantage of starting to think about what your sexuality means in college is that for the most part, you have the freedom to do so. There aren't really any boundaries or rules you're supposed to follow. Which there definitely are in high school. (Momma's rhetoric was something like the guy's from the Mean Girls - "Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and you will die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't it!! Promise?) I think a lot of my friends are much more liberated when it comes to their opinions on sex because of that. But then I'm also still friends with a few prudes (teeheehee) so I'm never sure exactly where I fit in that spectrum. Who knows man?? No one has a "normal" opinion on sex, I'm just always surprised to hear new sides of the people in my life that I thought I knew pretty well.
Um, I think that's it? There was a new pairing within the med school class that I found out about today that is...surprising. People are all about the hooking up right now. I had a nice thought yesterday, which is that I'm pretty happily single. Because if a really amazing guy came along tomorrow, I really wouldn't have any time to spend on him or with him. Then he'd probably be sad, and who would want the amazing guy to be sad?? I told one of my friends today that it'd be perfect if he came along right after I took qualifying exams next year. She reminded me that I can't exactly plan these things...I did have a moment of missing Brien (Boston Brien, not home Brian obviii) last night because we got along so so well & always laughed together. I'd be okay with him coming back after he got his stuff together & I passed quals ;) I really am starting to appreciate the importance of balance in my life & what that looks like and (sort of) how to get there from where I am now. I think it's a really hard thing, and something you have to work at consciously every day. That's more of what I'm trying to do this quarter & hopefully it will only go up from here. So far, so good
Happy Wednesday!! <3
1. Sawed off a man's skull.
2. Went to AsiaSF for Dine About Town with med school peeps for dinner tonight...this is a restaurant where all of the waitresses are transgender ladies
3. Had a very graphic/interesting conversation about heterosexual male sexual preferences from my favorite homosexual male at Stanford (well, maybe tied? there's two faves). Wtf, I thought I'd heard it all then he told me about "donkey punch" !?!!?
Needless to say, today has been quite an interesting day. Anatomy was slightly disturbing - not worse than the day we sawed off the legs for me but a very close second. The lab was filled with what looked like a combination of saw dust & parmesan cheese (sorry for the potentially inappropriate food reference...) while everyone was busy sawing through their skulls. The smell was really the worst part of it all...it was unexpected and unlike any other smell we've experience thus far in lab. The smoke from incinerating the bits of skin left on the skull is apparently why it smelled so...strangely?...and I really did not expect that. I put a mask on pronto. I tried to use the bone saw for a little bit in my group but I don't think I have enough upper body strength for it & having to try and force it only made the whole situation that much more real. I opted for skinning the skull instead (which I realize may not sound like a more humane task, but it really is). A few of the MD peeps posted about how incredible it is that someone would donate their body for this type of learning, which I fully agree with. They also said that they asked about how to donate their bodies after lab, which I still think I will never do. Totally down with someone else using my organs after I'm done with them but something about what we're doing to their bodies seems like you'd never be able to rest in peace. There were quite a few times in lab today where we had to turn him over to saw a specific part of his skull or look at this particular cranial nerve & since we still have his entire torso (as opposed to just his head, like most of the other groups) but only concerned with his head academically, it was impossible to flip him over without his intestines falling out one way or his heart rolling across the table. I don't think it's so much a religious/moral issue for me with donating my body to science as it is how I'd like to treat any prized possession I've had my entire life. If someone else wanted to take my favorite piece of jewelry or pair of jeans & wear them after I was done, I'd be okay with that. I wouldn't want them to just hack it up to see what the insides look like? Meh, different strokes for different folks...
Again, DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS! AsiaSF was very very interesting...the girls were mostly in amazing shape. Makes a girl want to work out! (maybe) One of the girls had apparently just gotten the final shebang so there were lots of references to "the grand opening" and the fact she had "an extra pair of lips". Gahhhh so caught off guard! Fun night though, even though the food wasn't super super delicious. I'm sure there will be pics on fb soon ;)
Sex is such a weird thing. Right? I understand it's basic to human survival or whatever but I think I have such a strange group of friends that I'm never quite sure how to feel about it as a conversation topic. I have two, maybe three, distinct groups of friends when it comes to sexual opinions - (1) Sex is bad/morally wrong-ish before marriage. (2) Sex is good. It happens. People probably shouldn't discuss it publicly and/or enjoy it too much though. (3) Sex is a-m-a-z-i-n-g!!! Do wild crazy unimaginable, possibly illegal things.
I think moving from a small town (Stockbridge) to a more liberal town (Athens), and then from the South (Georgia) to the West Coast (Cali) is really a study in the breadth of sexual opinions. I think my initial high school discussions of sex were pretty frank...I was friends with girls who were pretty much in the same sexual boat, with us all having our first serious boyfriends (I think?) and figuring out what sex meant & what our boundaries were and how far we could push things with still living in our parents' houses. My parents had never really talked to me about sex & with a shockingly pregnant sister in the house senior year of high school, there was really no time to discuss these types of things with la madre. Great. Fast-forward to freshman year at UGA, where I had this really serious boyfriend & mostly single friends, and all of a sudden I was the most experienced one among the people I hung out with. Huh!? I remember being really uncomfortable with that, and feeling the need to lie because I was still confused about a lot of sexual things when there was no one to discuss it with. Then I was relatively single for junior & senior year of undergrad when a lot of my friends decided it was a good time to get into their first serious relationships. I think there's some disadvantages to doing this later in young adulthood but I think one major advantage of starting to think about what your sexuality means in college is that for the most part, you have the freedom to do so. There aren't really any boundaries or rules you're supposed to follow. Which there definitely are in high school. (Momma's rhetoric was something like the guy's from the Mean Girls - "Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and you will die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't it!! Promise?) I think a lot of my friends are much more liberated when it comes to their opinions on sex because of that. But then I'm also still friends with a few prudes (teeheehee) so I'm never sure exactly where I fit in that spectrum. Who knows man?? No one has a "normal" opinion on sex, I'm just always surprised to hear new sides of the people in my life that I thought I knew pretty well.
Um, I think that's it? There was a new pairing within the med school class that I found out about today that is...surprising. People are all about the hooking up right now. I had a nice thought yesterday, which is that I'm pretty happily single. Because if a really amazing guy came along tomorrow, I really wouldn't have any time to spend on him or with him. Then he'd probably be sad, and who would want the amazing guy to be sad?? I told one of my friends today that it'd be perfect if he came along right after I took qualifying exams next year. She reminded me that I can't exactly plan these things...I did have a moment of missing Brien (Boston Brien, not home Brian obviii) last night because we got along so so well & always laughed together. I'd be okay with him coming back after he got his stuff together & I passed quals ;) I really am starting to appreciate the importance of balance in my life & what that looks like and (sort of) how to get there from where I am now. I think it's a really hard thing, and something you have to work at consciously every day. That's more of what I'm trying to do this quarter & hopefully it will only go up from here. So far, so good
Happy Wednesday!! <3
Friday, January 7, 2011
Just got paid, Friday nightttttt :)
Def got my refund today & spent lots of money paying off my credit card bill and buying delicious (and mostly healthy!) groceries...
STORIES FROM TODAY:
1. Totally got in a bike crash this morning on my way to class. This undergrad just randomly decides to stop in the middle of an intersection (!!!) so I 100% T-boned her bike. Stanford undergrads are supposed to be the cream of the crop, right? The bottom of my shoe was broken (...I need to buy new black flats anyways) but other than that **no humans were harmed in this accident** I do need to brush up on what happens if indeed I get in an accident where someone is hurt, obvi
2. Ginkgo biloba is.the.shiznit. I bought it today & will 100% be including this in my new vitamin regimen
3. Evaluation of the first week of classes: There is a TON of stuff in your brain. For real for real. This quarter will require lots & lots of focus. I figured out that if I draw pretty pictures on my notes and write in more colors, I pay more attention. Learning about what weed does to your brain is also an effective attention strategy...
4. Just made an amaretto sour with grenadine. Favorite.drink.ever! (or rather, favorite drink for right now)
5. Did you guys know it's a California state law that you can't return alcohol? Learned that the hard way after buying a $20 bottle of Disaronno at Safeway and finding a $6 bottle of amaretto at Trader Joe's. :( Probably not a horrible thing that I have extra liquor laying around though...it's going to be a looonnngggg quarter
I think that's it? Weekend plans are pretty awesome - chilling/studying tonight, potluck at a friend's house tomorrow afternoon, UCSF/Stanford mixer tomorrow night in San Fran. Wahoooo!! TGIF
<3
PS I've been hearing rumors that there was some sort of earthquake in NorCal...? Didn't feel a thing
STORIES FROM TODAY:
1. Totally got in a bike crash this morning on my way to class. This undergrad just randomly decides to stop in the middle of an intersection (!!!) so I 100% T-boned her bike. Stanford undergrads are supposed to be the cream of the crop, right? The bottom of my shoe was broken (...I need to buy new black flats anyways) but other than that **no humans were harmed in this accident** I do need to brush up on what happens if indeed I get in an accident where someone is hurt, obvi
2. Ginkgo biloba is.the.shiznit. I bought it today & will 100% be including this in my new vitamin regimen
3. Evaluation of the first week of classes: There is a TON of stuff in your brain. For real for real. This quarter will require lots & lots of focus. I figured out that if I draw pretty pictures on my notes and write in more colors, I pay more attention. Learning about what weed does to your brain is also an effective attention strategy...
4. Just made an amaretto sour with grenadine. Favorite.drink.ever! (or rather, favorite drink for right now)
5. Did you guys know it's a California state law that you can't return alcohol? Learned that the hard way after buying a $20 bottle of Disaronno at Safeway and finding a $6 bottle of amaretto at Trader Joe's. :( Probably not a horrible thing that I have extra liquor laying around though...it's going to be a looonnngggg quarter
I think that's it? Weekend plans are pretty awesome - chilling/studying tonight, potluck at a friend's house tomorrow afternoon, UCSF/Stanford mixer tomorrow night in San Fran. Wahoooo!! TGIF
<3
PS I've been hearing rumors that there was some sort of earthquake in NorCal...? Didn't feel a thing
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Lessons for 2011
#1 I'm back in Palo Alto!!! So much stuff to get done today, but overall I'm happy to be back & I'm happy when I see my faves here...this is a good sign & very promising for this quarter
#2 It's freaking 2011!! It takes me approximately 6 months to adjust to writing the next year when I write the date so by June, I'll be comfortable with this year. Then the year changes so quickly...so dificil
#3 Seeing all my Georgia faves was amazing...really rejuvenating (though that also could have been the 10+ hours of sleep I was getting at home). Even though I absolutely adore a few people out here, I don't know that I've really adjusted to being my full jazzy self (read this as a general adjective similar to excited or enthused & not as a specific reference to Jasmaine Denice Williams, as I am categorically less jazzy with all the work here) with everyone here. There are so many strange things I do or like to say & I can't pull them all out of the box at once...or else I'm sure one of my MD friends would diagnose me with some sort of psychiatric illness (issue?) I miss the people at home, but I don't think I miss living in Georgia.
SOOOO resolutions for this year: (Everyone says they don't make them, but everyone does b/c why wouldn't you try to make this year better than the last??)
1. Pre-read for every class, no exceptions. Even if I'm exhausted. I really want to stay on top of things this quarter.
2. Asleep by 12:30 every night
3. Exercise of some sort...? My google searches over the break ranged from relatively expensive gym memberships in Palo Alto to hip hop classes to yoga classes to pole dancing classes...decisions have not been made on this front. Either way, I think I need to get out of my room more. I had a surprising thought to start working out early in the mornings before class, which caught me completely off-guard. If I do well with #2, maybe this will be possible?
4. Make a budget! (Shoutout to E.Hollz for the mint.com tip) I did okay last quarter...somehow I never end up broke (excluding first semester of freshman year) which is amazing, considering I never think about how much I'm spending. I want to try to save a little moola for when I move into an apartment so I can buy furniture & stuffz
5. Make a list of all the important people in my life that I need to keep in touch with & rotate through the list every couple of days to talk to all of those people. Horrible...h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e....HORRIBLE job at staying in contact last year, but I think it would have been entirely too overwhelming for me personally to try and do that. This quarter, my whole goal is "school/life balance". Constantly a work in progress...
6. Take vitamins (with a nice, nutritious breakfast since I'll be nice & well-rested)! Since the lady told me I could be screwing up my liver with taking iron tablets, I'm ceasing those. But I'll probably take omega-3's, ginkgo (maybe? I think my memory is getting worse but I don't want my blood to get all thin & whatnot), B complex, and MAYBE a real woman's vitamin to see how this goes over. I think it might be time to give up on my gummi vites...sad but true :(
7. Flossing.
8. More social time! More fun things & seeing all the cool things there are out here on the West Coast. There's lots of fun stuff planned already, I need to be careful not to overwhelm myself (social situations are so anxiety provoking sometimes!!)
9. Drink more water! (64 oz a day?)
I think that's it? General life balance is what I'm heading for. Every now & then, I have a fleeting interest in finding a cute boy to go on fun dates with but that seems like it would take too much energy. Maybe spring quarter :) After I finish this post, I'm going to make my vision board as the next step in this awesome life process
Slight rant before I continue this positivity movement: FREAKING STANFORD WON'T GIVE ME MY MONEY!!! Don't they know I have a credit card bill to pay off!? School supplies to buy!? Groceries to get!? Apparently, their system is "locking up" since I'm enrolled in two degree programs. Um, I'm almost positive I'm not the only one in Stanford history to ever get 2 degrees. WTF!? So mad, I had my whole day planned around making a cute, well-balanced grocery list & going to buy them and my school supplies today after I finished unpacking & making my vision board. #thanksatonLeland
Mmk I think that's it? For those not filled in on the boy information, all previous romantic interests (ranging from 7th grade until now) have been placed in the "Do Not Resuscitate" category (Too early in the quarter for medical jokes?) Miss you all!!!
<3 <3
#2 It's freaking 2011!! It takes me approximately 6 months to adjust to writing the next year when I write the date so by June, I'll be comfortable with this year. Then the year changes so quickly...so dificil
#3 Seeing all my Georgia faves was amazing...really rejuvenating (though that also could have been the 10+ hours of sleep I was getting at home). Even though I absolutely adore a few people out here, I don't know that I've really adjusted to being my full jazzy self (read this as a general adjective similar to excited or enthused & not as a specific reference to Jasmaine Denice Williams, as I am categorically less jazzy with all the work here) with everyone here. There are so many strange things I do or like to say & I can't pull them all out of the box at once...or else I'm sure one of my MD friends would diagnose me with some sort of psychiatric illness (issue?) I miss the people at home, but I don't think I miss living in Georgia.
SOOOO resolutions for this year: (Everyone says they don't make them, but everyone does b/c why wouldn't you try to make this year better than the last??)
1. Pre-read for every class, no exceptions. Even if I'm exhausted. I really want to stay on top of things this quarter.
2. Asleep by 12:30 every night
3. Exercise of some sort...? My google searches over the break ranged from relatively expensive gym memberships in Palo Alto to hip hop classes to yoga classes to pole dancing classes...decisions have not been made on this front. Either way, I think I need to get out of my room more. I had a surprising thought to start working out early in the mornings before class, which caught me completely off-guard. If I do well with #2, maybe this will be possible?
4. Make a budget! (Shoutout to E.Hollz for the mint.com tip) I did okay last quarter...somehow I never end up broke (excluding first semester of freshman year) which is amazing, considering I never think about how much I'm spending. I want to try to save a little moola for when I move into an apartment so I can buy furniture & stuffz
5. Make a list of all the important people in my life that I need to keep in touch with & rotate through the list every couple of days to talk to all of those people. Horrible...h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e....HORRIBLE job at staying in contact last year, but I think it would have been entirely too overwhelming for me personally to try and do that. This quarter, my whole goal is "school/life balance". Constantly a work in progress...
6. Take vitamins (with a nice, nutritious breakfast since I'll be nice & well-rested)! Since the lady told me I could be screwing up my liver with taking iron tablets, I'm ceasing those. But I'll probably take omega-3's, ginkgo (maybe? I think my memory is getting worse but I don't want my blood to get all thin & whatnot), B complex, and MAYBE a real woman's vitamin to see how this goes over. I think it might be time to give up on my gummi vites...sad but true :(
7. Flossing.
8. More social time! More fun things & seeing all the cool things there are out here on the West Coast. There's lots of fun stuff planned already, I need to be careful not to overwhelm myself (social situations are so anxiety provoking sometimes!!)
9. Drink more water! (64 oz a day?)
I think that's it? General life balance is what I'm heading for. Every now & then, I have a fleeting interest in finding a cute boy to go on fun dates with but that seems like it would take too much energy. Maybe spring quarter :) After I finish this post, I'm going to make my vision board as the next step in this awesome life process
Slight rant before I continue this positivity movement: FREAKING STANFORD WON'T GIVE ME MY MONEY!!! Don't they know I have a credit card bill to pay off!? School supplies to buy!? Groceries to get!? Apparently, their system is "locking up" since I'm enrolled in two degree programs. Um, I'm almost positive I'm not the only one in Stanford history to ever get 2 degrees. WTF!? So mad, I had my whole day planned around making a cute, well-balanced grocery list & going to buy them and my school supplies today after I finished unpacking & making my vision board. #thanksatonLeland
Mmk I think that's it? For those not filled in on the boy information, all previous romantic interests (ranging from 7th grade until now) have been placed in the "Do Not Resuscitate" category (Too early in the quarter for medical jokes?) Miss you all!!!
<3 <3
Monday, December 13, 2010
Ooh also!
Would like to share 2 of my most favorite ads I've seen recently:
"Google can't satisfy every search"
(An ad at some "place of awakening" right up the street, particularly poignant given its location in Palo Alto)
"How would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?"
(An encouraging reminder to turn the lights off when leaving the rooms at Stanford)
With my limited advertising expertise, I give these both an A++ :)
"Google can't satisfy every search"
(An ad at some "place of awakening" right up the street, particularly poignant given its location in Palo Alto)
"How would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?"
(An encouraging reminder to turn the lights off when leaving the rooms at Stanford)
With my limited advertising expertise, I give these both an A++ :)
Monday, December 6, 2010
1 exam down...
...2 to go. I think the first one went okay, I'm sending out all my good energy & hoping it comes back to me :) I have to finish my take-home final for genetics today & it's hard to get motivated right now. Somehow this Mike's hard (pink) lemonade ended up in my hands at 3 PM on a Monday? <3
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Wahoooooo finals!!!!!!
People keep asking why I'm so cheery this week...I'm tricking myself into believing that finals are the best thing ever!! (Helps with avoiding the opposite feelings, of utter depression)
I'm feeling the good study vibes this week (probably due to all the lovely people I've asked to send good vibes my way, feel free to do this CONSTANTLY) & putting in 8 (...10? 12?) hour blocks of studying so this must be a good thing. I really want to do amazingly well on the exams, I miss that feeling :(
Back to the grind! I <3 FINALS
I'm feeling the good study vibes this week (probably due to all the lovely people I've asked to send good vibes my way, feel free to do this CONSTANTLY) & putting in 8 (...10? 12?) hour blocks of studying so this must be a good thing. I really want to do amazingly well on the exams, I miss that feeling :(
Back to the grind! I <3 FINALS
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Weekend Montage
Here's a series of pictures to describe the past week/weekend (and/or document my complete boredom with biochemistry...) All my greatest OCD fantasies have been fulfilled with studying for this test...
We also went out last night, met a cute boy :) Sleep time, biochem final in the morning!!
PS: Who knew the thermal camera on my iMac was totally legit?!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Being alive is a good thing
So there was an ACTUAL close call yesterday...my sister called yesterday & said that she thought my dad might be having a stroke. I freaked out!! That is literally my worst fear - that something will happen at home & I'm in Cali and can't get back in time for it. Anyways everything is fine...he's been diagnosed with Bell's Palsy (which we did out in Cali way before the people at Northside Hospital did in GA, Stanford med students & physicians don't even NEED all those fancy tests lol) which is also known as idiopathic facial paralysis, which means nobody knows what causes it or how to really treat it. He's fine & I'm mucho happy about that.
We (me, Tania, Alison) randomly went out to this place called Monte Carlo last night, just to get away from the perpetual med student crowd and hang around new people. It ended up being this club fullll of Spanish people who all knew the same dances so when this band started playing, we just sat around and watched. It was actually one of the most entertaining things I've seen in awhile. Such intimate dancing too! It was astounding... I'm planning on a chill weekend to sleep & catch up with work. We have a Biochem final on the 8th & even though it's Halloween weekend, I really just need to hang out in my room and get things done. Sometimes you need weekends like this, I have to remind myself of that since there's something going on EVERY single weekend!!
Also loving my lab - I can't wait till I get to start doing mouse work but I'm really starting to understand more of the project and the technical details so that's always a good thing. I'm probably going to go in and do some work later today :) My PI also emailed me to make sure my dad was okay, which I thought was a very nice gesture. Such thesis lab potential!! Anyways that's all the updates - not too many this time around (less drama=great thing, at least for now)
<3
PS: Freaking in love with Ray Lamontagne right now. Holy gee - why has no one told me about him yet??
We (me, Tania, Alison) randomly went out to this place called Monte Carlo last night, just to get away from the perpetual med student crowd and hang around new people. It ended up being this club fullll of Spanish people who all knew the same dances so when this band started playing, we just sat around and watched. It was actually one of the most entertaining things I've seen in awhile. Such intimate dancing too! It was astounding... I'm planning on a chill weekend to sleep & catch up with work. We have a Biochem final on the 8th & even though it's Halloween weekend, I really just need to hang out in my room and get things done. Sometimes you need weekends like this, I have to remind myself of that since there's something going on EVERY single weekend!!
Also loving my lab - I can't wait till I get to start doing mouse work but I'm really starting to understand more of the project and the technical details so that's always a good thing. I'm probably going to go in and do some work later today :) My PI also emailed me to make sure my dad was okay, which I thought was a very nice gesture. Such thesis lab potential!! Anyways that's all the updates - not too many this time around (less drama=great thing, at least for now)
<3
PS: Freaking in love with Ray Lamontagne right now. Holy gee - why has no one told me about him yet??
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Don't you love it when...
...your week completely implodes? No? Me neither...
Summary of this week's events:
1. Found out I'm REQUIRED to apply for an NSF graduate fellowship this year. Not strongly encouraged. Not "You're a great applicant, you should definitely do it". R-e-q-u-i-r-e-d. By the Cancer Biology program. Ooh, also? IT'S DUE IN A MONTH. Not happy about this, especially since I'm not even on the Cancer Biology training grant!! I wouldn't even be saving them money by winning the fellowship. Moving on...
2. Still not working in lab. I'm ultra-sensitive about this right now. I went to meet with the lab manager in the lab I realllyyyy want to be in & basically told them that I would do whatever they need me to be doing. They're being really deliberate & considerate of my currently busy schedule & want to make sure I have a good experience which is great but I just want to be working again! One of my fellow MOM students made me feel so bad about it today...she was like "How's your rotation going?" I told her that I hadn't officially started in the lab yet & she slowly looked at her watch and goes "Oh...isn't it the third week of the quarter already?" GAHHHH YES I KNOW THIS WOMAN!! She's also Singaporean (sp?), spent time at Oxford & is generally socially strange. Her introduction to this conversation with me was "Well, no one is talking to me & everyone wants to be talking to you so I'm coming over here". Should have seen something ridiculous coming...I should have taken it with a grain of salt but it really got under my skin.
3. Guy in my class that's randomly been doing awkward things/saying awkward things? He has a girlfriend! Recently discovered by everyone in the class. That makes so many of our interactions so freaking inappropriate & I am not happy that I was involuntarily (in terms of ignorance, not being coerced into doing anything) involved in this breach of relationship contract. Ugh! Future plans include ignoring him indefinitely.
4. Guy from middle school/high school that came back full force over Christmas? HEYYY he sent me a little textie last night. Of course! Convo:
- Him: Can you believe it's about to be a year? I just drove past waffle house and thought about you.
*Jazz Thoughts: So glad I remind you of WaHo? Classyyyy...
- Me: :) you confuse me BP...I never understood your thoughts on the whole situation since you like to keep things mysterious.
-Him: I do and I'm really kicking myself for that now. *shrug* :)
*Jazz Thoughts: I don't understand why you're not more apologetic about this...
-Me: Mystery is overrated dude, you were supposed to be the honest one? :(
-Him: It's funny cause I want to be to you. Not for anyone else though. I just got into the habit of mysteriousness. I don't always mean to do it.
*Jazz Thoughts: Aww, so sweet!!! Wait, not sweet. NOT sweet. You're the one that keeps saying you're going to do something & then not doing it.
- Him: When are you going to be in GA again?
*Jazz Thoughts: Trouble.
- Me: Mm either way, you're equally good at it...I'll be home for Thanksgiving definitely, hopefully Christmas too
- Him: Nice. Alright. It's mad early/late. Peace
*Jazz Thoughts: Oh my freaking gee you're the one that texted me fool! Way to insert yourself into my life again & leave quickly againnnn
- Me: Bye [name has been redacted from the text record]
Overall thoughts about this: WTF?!
5. The redeeming fact for this week so far - I did sign up to teach a class at this event they have every year called SPLASH! My class is on making vision boards & I'm hoping it will be super productive, both for me & for the little kiddies I'll be teaching for a day. I'm really excited about it.
Predictions for the rest of this week's events:
1. Severeeeee alcoholism. (!!!)
2. Formal! I'm actually excited. I think it will be really beautiful, even though there's also this drama swirling. We're going to dinner before with 30 people. Geez! I'm excited to wear my dress, hopefully I'll be feeling like a pretty pretty princess (Kaiya style)
3. A few cute things this weekend besides formal - a brunch with mi amiga que habla espanol y otros companeros and also a potluck at one of the girls' houses who is in BGSA. So cultural! I need to expand past my Asian boundaries lol...also a conference w/ the law school called Shaking the Foundations that should have a few interesting panels and delicious food!
4. I think I'm going to try and reserve tomorrow for restoring sanity. It's time to revamp jazzy maintenance days. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this yet - maybe a walk around The Dish or a delicious meal or a good movie. Something to get me back to my normal again. And hopefully also a little bit of productivity...I've felt so off this week & I hate that feeling.
Anyways, back to work now! I'm going to try & go to bed in the next hour or so, I think I need to be getting more sleep. Last thing - watch this video if you haven't seen it already, it's really great & I think he discusses a lot of the reasons why this recent wave of suicides is so devastating. As always with YouTube videos, ignore the comments below the video. So symptomatic of the problems we have in this country, people are nutso...
Lovesies!! <3
Summary of this week's events:
1. Found out I'm REQUIRED to apply for an NSF graduate fellowship this year. Not strongly encouraged. Not "You're a great applicant, you should definitely do it". R-e-q-u-i-r-e-d. By the Cancer Biology program. Ooh, also? IT'S DUE IN A MONTH. Not happy about this, especially since I'm not even on the Cancer Biology training grant!! I wouldn't even be saving them money by winning the fellowship. Moving on...
2. Still not working in lab. I'm ultra-sensitive about this right now. I went to meet with the lab manager in the lab I realllyyyy want to be in & basically told them that I would do whatever they need me to be doing. They're being really deliberate & considerate of my currently busy schedule & want to make sure I have a good experience which is great but I just want to be working again! One of my fellow MOM students made me feel so bad about it today...she was like "How's your rotation going?" I told her that I hadn't officially started in the lab yet & she slowly looked at her watch and goes "Oh...isn't it the third week of the quarter already?" GAHHHH YES I KNOW THIS WOMAN!! She's also Singaporean (sp?), spent time at Oxford & is generally socially strange. Her introduction to this conversation with me was "Well, no one is talking to me & everyone wants to be talking to you so I'm coming over here". Should have seen something ridiculous coming...I should have taken it with a grain of salt but it really got under my skin.
3. Guy in my class that's randomly been doing awkward things/saying awkward things? He has a girlfriend! Recently discovered by everyone in the class. That makes so many of our interactions so freaking inappropriate & I am not happy that I was involuntarily (in terms of ignorance, not being coerced into doing anything) involved in this breach of relationship contract. Ugh! Future plans include ignoring him indefinitely.
4. Guy from middle school/high school that came back full force over Christmas? HEYYY he sent me a little textie last night. Of course! Convo:
- Him: Can you believe it's about to be a year? I just drove past waffle house and thought about you.
*Jazz Thoughts: So glad I remind you of WaHo? Classyyyy...
- Me: :) you confuse me BP...I never understood your thoughts on the whole situation since you like to keep things mysterious.
-Him: I do and I'm really kicking myself for that now. *shrug* :)
*Jazz Thoughts: I don't understand why you're not more apologetic about this...
-Me: Mystery is overrated dude, you were supposed to be the honest one? :(
-Him: It's funny cause I want to be to you. Not for anyone else though. I just got into the habit of mysteriousness. I don't always mean to do it.
*Jazz Thoughts: Aww, so sweet!!! Wait, not sweet. NOT sweet. You're the one that keeps saying you're going to do something & then not doing it.
- Him: When are you going to be in GA again?
*Jazz Thoughts: Trouble.
- Me: Mm either way, you're equally good at it...I'll be home for Thanksgiving definitely, hopefully Christmas too
- Him: Nice. Alright. It's mad early/late. Peace
*Jazz Thoughts: Oh my freaking gee you're the one that texted me fool! Way to insert yourself into my life again & leave quickly againnnn
- Me: Bye [name has been redacted from the text record]
Overall thoughts about this: WTF?!
5. The redeeming fact for this week so far - I did sign up to teach a class at this event they have every year called SPLASH! My class is on making vision boards & I'm hoping it will be super productive, both for me & for the little kiddies I'll be teaching for a day. I'm really excited about it.
Predictions for the rest of this week's events:
1. Severeeeee alcoholism. (!!!)
2. Formal! I'm actually excited. I think it will be really beautiful, even though there's also this drama swirling. We're going to dinner before with 30 people. Geez! I'm excited to wear my dress, hopefully I'll be feeling like a pretty pretty princess (Kaiya style)
3. A few cute things this weekend besides formal - a brunch with mi amiga que habla espanol y otros companeros and also a potluck at one of the girls' houses who is in BGSA. So cultural! I need to expand past my Asian boundaries lol...also a conference w/ the law school called Shaking the Foundations that should have a few interesting panels and delicious food!
4. I think I'm going to try and reserve tomorrow for restoring sanity. It's time to revamp jazzy maintenance days. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this yet - maybe a walk around The Dish or a delicious meal or a good movie. Something to get me back to my normal again. And hopefully also a little bit of productivity...I've felt so off this week & I hate that feeling.
Anyways, back to work now! I'm going to try & go to bed in the next hour or so, I think I need to be getting more sleep. Last thing - watch this video if you haven't seen it already, it's really great & I think he discusses a lot of the reasons why this recent wave of suicides is so devastating. As always with YouTube videos, ignore the comments below the video. So symptomatic of the problems we have in this country, people are nutso...
Lovesies!! <3
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Kudos to You
I'm always in awe of people who can carry on entertaining, brief, non-awkward elevator conversations. Props Munger Mystery Boy!
Summary for the day:
1. Problem sets & quizzes galore...holy moly, there is a TON of homework I have due today.
2. Unexpected catch-up with a friend ;)
3. Grocery shopping at Trader Joe's
4. An awesome nap...I think I skip directly to REM sleep now which is stupendous (!!!)
5. A generally beautiful day
Awkward boy situation #1 is still in effect...there is another something weird happening with a different guy in the class which was in part initiated by alcohol but also feels more comfortable. (This could be due to the fact that the first guy does not say many words...) The 2nd guy just broke up with his girlfriend recently though so I must be wary of the rebound syndrome! Life is so ridiculous sometimes. & prom is this Saturday! It actually feels like 8th grade prom too, which is the strange part. & it's at the San Fran aquarium. This is my dress (except it's in gypsy pink!! I look weird in dark greys) I'm really excited, I think it will be nice and probably crazy too.
Last little piece of news - my research soulmate has yet to email me back to tell me that he loves me too...haha this feels so much like waiting around for a guy you like to text you back. Come on!! I'm ready to be in the lab again :( I've been meeting with other potential PI's when I already know my true love (I think)
Back to LOD scores...
<3
Summary for the day:
1. Problem sets & quizzes galore...holy moly, there is a TON of homework I have due today.
2. Unexpected catch-up with a friend ;)
3. Grocery shopping at Trader Joe's
4. An awesome nap...I think I skip directly to REM sleep now which is stupendous (!!!)
5. A generally beautiful day
Awkward boy situation #1 is still in effect...there is another something weird happening with a different guy in the class which was in part initiated by alcohol but also feels more comfortable. (This could be due to the fact that the first guy does not say many words...) The 2nd guy just broke up with his girlfriend recently though so I must be wary of the rebound syndrome! Life is so ridiculous sometimes. & prom is this Saturday! It actually feels like 8th grade prom too, which is the strange part. & it's at the San Fran aquarium. This is my dress (except it's in gypsy pink!! I look weird in dark greys) I'm really excited, I think it will be nice and probably crazy too.
Last little piece of news - my research soulmate has yet to email me back to tell me that he loves me too...haha this feels so much like waiting around for a guy you like to text you back. Come on!! I'm ready to be in the lab again :( I've been meeting with other potential PI's when I already know my true love (I think)
Back to LOD scores...
<3
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
I believe in soulmates...
...at least for now, and by soulmates I mean those of the research variety. Oh em gee! I think these are easier to find than the romantic ones...since those may or may not exist ;)
I went in to meet with a professor today (this guy, Firdaus Dhabhar) & the meeting went superrrrr well. He basically brought up everything that I love & that I think is important in terms of science & life. He works on lots of things that I find interesting & that hit very close to home (breast cancer, immune function, stress, sleeping, translational research, working with mice, access to patient samples, mental health issues, etc etc) & I'm hoping/kinda thinking that...this might be my thesis lab?
WHOA DUDE. WHOA. Of course I have to wait & see how the actual rotation goes & there are a few details to work out but I don't know how all of the things I thought were important & the techniques and types of science I really want to learn could be integrated more seamlessly in another lab. He has moved to Stanford recently from Ohio so there is the concern that he doesn't have graduate students right now. That's not actually a huge concern, I think, because he was recruited here & has had graduate students in his lab previously. It's just been a time of transition with getting his animal facilities set up out here in Cali. I'm hopefully going to meet with some of the lab members relatively soon but I'm mucho excited!
Aside from the science, one of the things that really struck me about our meeting was how much he valued honesty & wanting to know things outside of my research interests. I really feel like I could be open with him & in times of vulnerability (which will certainly come as a graduate student), I think that's really critical for success in a program. We talked about everything from family stuff to integrating Western & Eastern methodologies with regards to science and medicine. Basically it was the perfect mix of all things jazz & I could not be more stoked. SCORE!!! I can not freaking wait to get back into lab
Other than that, I just watched the latest episode of Glee & it was tres emotional! Geez man, they should have given you a warning at the beginning of the episode or something. Off to be productive for the rest of the night!
kiss kiss :)
I went in to meet with a professor today (this guy, Firdaus Dhabhar) & the meeting went superrrrr well. He basically brought up everything that I love & that I think is important in terms of science & life. He works on lots of things that I find interesting & that hit very close to home (breast cancer, immune function, stress, sleeping, translational research, working with mice, access to patient samples, mental health issues, etc etc) & I'm hoping/kinda thinking that...this might be my thesis lab?
WHOA DUDE. WHOA. Of course I have to wait & see how the actual rotation goes & there are a few details to work out but I don't know how all of the things I thought were important & the techniques and types of science I really want to learn could be integrated more seamlessly in another lab. He has moved to Stanford recently from Ohio so there is the concern that he doesn't have graduate students right now. That's not actually a huge concern, I think, because he was recruited here & has had graduate students in his lab previously. It's just been a time of transition with getting his animal facilities set up out here in Cali. I'm hopefully going to meet with some of the lab members relatively soon but I'm mucho excited!
Aside from the science, one of the things that really struck me about our meeting was how much he valued honesty & wanting to know things outside of my research interests. I really feel like I could be open with him & in times of vulnerability (which will certainly come as a graduate student), I think that's really critical for success in a program. We talked about everything from family stuff to integrating Western & Eastern methodologies with regards to science and medicine. Basically it was the perfect mix of all things jazz & I could not be more stoked. SCORE!!! I can not freaking wait to get back into lab
Other than that, I just watched the latest episode of Glee & it was tres emotional! Geez man, they should have given you a warning at the beginning of the episode or something. Off to be productive for the rest of the night!
kiss kiss :)
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Proof!
...that I still have hair, a tendency for red eye & ridiculous amounts of fun at themed parties :)
Friday, October 1, 2010
It's Friday?!
The weekends feel so much different here - we're either going out like crazy (see last week's party bus trip to San Fran) or planning to spend our lives studying in LKSC. I think this weekend may be a more balanced one. Today has been a great day...review session this morning, one class, lunch w/ the Black Graduate Students' Association (BGSA), nap, studying, Q&A session with my regular group + 2, dinner with one of my favorite guys in the class (there were two guys there, but I especially love one) & going to see The Social Network in a couple of hours.
I really loved the dinner conversation I had tonight with my previously mentioned amazing friend...he's from Georgia as well (Conyers, actually) & went to Harvard for undergrad & really interested in neuroscience-y things. So he told me about this research that he's getting set up to work with prisoners & the idea that their reward systems have been completely skewed their entire lives so their pleasure now hinges on the actual acquisition of material goods (i.e, the thrill is no longer in the chase like it is for a lot of people). He also told me about some cool neuro studies they've done with decision making & the idea that your conscious decision is made after the neurological processes to enact that decision has already been triggered. Blablabla science jargon, but basically that threatens the idea of free will. Right? We think we're deciding but the decision is made & the set of stimuli that go into making that decision are actually the decisive agent, not you as an autonomous individual.
I guess this stuck with me for two reasons -
1) I am absolutely in admiration of people who are incorporating all their passions into their careers. I think it's amazing & amazingly difficult to do. There are so many things I'm interested in (advances in cancer research, incorporation of faith into treatment regimes, women's issues, how to promote minority access to the latest developments in health, a few other things I think) & I don't know how to begin working that into my graduate training. Of course you're meant to use this 4(..5..6?) years to really become a good scientist & to learn how to think, which is critical. But I also want to think about how to live a completely fulfilled life, and I think incorporating all your passions into your work (which I think defines your life's purpose in a lot of ways, or at least it should) is essential for that. So the conversation made me think towards how I can do that for myself.
2) If free will is a rational reaction to human existence (like I think religion is in a lot of ways), then feeling guilty is pointless! Small fact, I know, but that combined with a few other conversations I've had this week was a really interesting thought.
Said friend (his name is Mark, I feel like I should maybe stop calling him friend) also helped me untangle some of the things I've been thinking about a particular guy. He's super perceptive & really interested in human behavior (hence the neuro stuff) so I told him about everything that's been happening with this guy & was more honest than I think I've been with anything else about why I've been reacting certain ways and he helped me get down to the roots of my behavior. Bleh! Scary, but necessary. Love that guy ;)
Alsoooo the lunch with BGSA was really nice...that's something that I kind of avoided in undergrad for a lot of reasons (mostly for the effect that has on your social network & how much you have to consider your "reputation") but it's definitely something I want to get involved with more here. I met a few cool people but just like a lot of these introductory events I've been going to, people tended to stick around the people they already knew. Which is totally fine & reasonable but it makes it difficult to get to know people who aren't in the School of Medicine. I love my classmates but...I need more people. LOL
Mm I think that's it? Really loving my hip-hop class...the freedom & distraction of movement is a nice complement to the tedium of classes. Plus a great workout! My abs have been sore for two weeks straight..I'm also going to get my hair done in San Fran tomorrow & really hoping it doesn't fall out. Bald Jazz <<<< Jazz with hair
Time for ze movieee! Interesting too, since Mark Zuckerberg can't live more than 15 minutes away from me & I'm going to see a movie about his life. Weird stuff
Miss you people! <3
I really loved the dinner conversation I had tonight with my previously mentioned amazing friend...he's from Georgia as well (Conyers, actually) & went to Harvard for undergrad & really interested in neuroscience-y things. So he told me about this research that he's getting set up to work with prisoners & the idea that their reward systems have been completely skewed their entire lives so their pleasure now hinges on the actual acquisition of material goods (i.e, the thrill is no longer in the chase like it is for a lot of people). He also told me about some cool neuro studies they've done with decision making & the idea that your conscious decision is made after the neurological processes to enact that decision has already been triggered. Blablabla science jargon, but basically that threatens the idea of free will. Right? We think we're deciding but the decision is made & the set of stimuli that go into making that decision are actually the decisive agent, not you as an autonomous individual.
I guess this stuck with me for two reasons -
1) I am absolutely in admiration of people who are incorporating all their passions into their careers. I think it's amazing & amazingly difficult to do. There are so many things I'm interested in (advances in cancer research, incorporation of faith into treatment regimes, women's issues, how to promote minority access to the latest developments in health, a few other things I think) & I don't know how to begin working that into my graduate training. Of course you're meant to use this 4(..5..6?) years to really become a good scientist & to learn how to think, which is critical. But I also want to think about how to live a completely fulfilled life, and I think incorporating all your passions into your work (which I think defines your life's purpose in a lot of ways, or at least it should) is essential for that. So the conversation made me think towards how I can do that for myself.
2) If free will is a rational reaction to human existence (like I think religion is in a lot of ways), then feeling guilty is pointless! Small fact, I know, but that combined with a few other conversations I've had this week was a really interesting thought.
Said friend (his name is Mark, I feel like I should maybe stop calling him friend) also helped me untangle some of the things I've been thinking about a particular guy. He's super perceptive & really interested in human behavior (hence the neuro stuff) so I told him about everything that's been happening with this guy & was more honest than I think I've been with anything else about why I've been reacting certain ways and he helped me get down to the roots of my behavior. Bleh! Scary, but necessary. Love that guy ;)
Alsoooo the lunch with BGSA was really nice...that's something that I kind of avoided in undergrad for a lot of reasons (mostly for the effect that has on your social network & how much you have to consider your "reputation") but it's definitely something I want to get involved with more here. I met a few cool people but just like a lot of these introductory events I've been going to, people tended to stick around the people they already knew. Which is totally fine & reasonable but it makes it difficult to get to know people who aren't in the School of Medicine. I love my classmates but...I need more people. LOL
Mm I think that's it? Really loving my hip-hop class...the freedom & distraction of movement is a nice complement to the tedium of classes. Plus a great workout! My abs have been sore for two weeks straight..I'm also going to get my hair done in San Fran tomorrow & really hoping it doesn't fall out. Bald Jazz <<<< Jazz with hair
Time for ze movieee! Interesting too, since Mark Zuckerberg can't live more than 15 minutes away from me & I'm going to see a movie about his life. Weird stuff
Miss you people! <3
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Back to basics...
So finals did NOT go so well...everything is going to work out fine, but I'm just bummed that I didn't do as well as I thought I did right after the final. I went in to talk to one of my professors from mini-quarter (i.e, the one we just ended) & it was a really great talk that made me think a lot about how the person I am affects how I approach academics. I had never really talked one-on-one with him...I think that's also something I wish I had learned more in undergrad - I never learned how to talk with the professors I was actually taking classes with. I knew a lot of the faculty in the Honors program & really got along well with them but never got over the professor/student barrier in my classes.
We talked through a lot of things in the meeting & it was nice to hear his impression of me...he's a very relatable professor & he said that I seemed like an outgoing person who could potentially be a role model for a lot of people. He also said that he thinks I was the type to have a lot of friends in undergrad? (He also said he thought I would be in a sorority, which was definitely off) I think I took it for granted when people would say that type of stuff in GA but it was nice to hear from a really well-established professor here. It's also nice to feel like there are people here who are really invested in my success when there are a million other things they could be doing. I love Stanford :)
We also got down to what I think is the source of a lot of stress for me: I've never really learned how to ask for help? I'm not really that great at showing weaknesses either. I feel like I'm okay with admitting character or personality flaws (like how I'm not great at sustained human contact, I tend to make weird noises & voices, blablabla) but I have a hard time owning up to the things that I haven't quite figured out on my own yet. I'm sure a lot of that has to do with how I've been raised & the person that I am regardless of my environment but it's tough to fix. I need to learn how to ask questions more often without feeling dumb for not knowing every single answer. As he said (& I definitely agree), it will make me a better scientist and a better human being. It was also nice to hear from him that he thought I'd done really well here so far with adjusting after moving to the other side of the country & also the constructive criticism he had with moving forward in this next quarter. Hopefully I'll make some major improvements :) My goals are to try and be even more organized & to not feel pressured to study with the people I've become close with because they might not be the best study partners. It's a work in progress!
I am really fortunate though to feel so comfortable with a lot of the people here...one of my closest friends here has been feeling really homesick lately & I can't imagine what that would be like on top of all the stress with classes. So thankful for the people I'm close with! I think feeling a million times more comfortable with myself now has made the adjustment here much easier than the adjustment during freshman year of undergrad...WHAT.A.MESS.!!
As for the fun side of things - the party bus was RIDICULOUS! Holy moly, never in my life have I experienced such craziness. It was so nice hanging out with everyone & getting to share 1/3 of my birthday weekend with some amazing people. There were definitely some interesting moments with members of the opposite sex - I had SOOO much fun dancing with one of the guys that I hadn't really gotten to know before the trip but I don't think there's any attraction there. I will be requesting that he dances with me at every single event from now on though ;) I also had a weird conversation with one of the guys I initially had a crush on about "the last guy I dated"...I think the conversation was actually about if we could date each other? Strangest thing, I get so confused when there's a conversation that I'm actually having with a person and an entirely different subtext going on. Too much thinking!! I also got to hang out more with one guy that I really want to be close friends with (who also turns out to be a great snuggler, which is a huge bonus) & another guy that really confuses me/doesn't say words. People do say words when they're intoxicated though regardless of how shy they are so I got more information out of him about why he's taking a little bit longer to adjust to life out here. I wanted to try & be friends with him but that's too hard so...we can just be party friends. He's close friends with the snuggler though so maybe I'll make them food...I love being a veg out here but sometimes I think the crazy eating does not go over well for boys. Southern food is universal!! It still surprises me how many people really want to be in a relationship right now though...so not ready for that! I barely have enough free time for myself...
The rest of the birthday weekend was also really great...we went out to eat for dinner at this ramen place (RAMEN IS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN IT'S NOT IN A PACKAGE PEOPLE!!) followed up by boba. These are my absolute obsessions now. It was nice to have people celebrate with me - I've never really had a big group of people go somewhere with me to celebrate my birthday & there were 20 people at dinner! That's like 25% of our class, I felt so loved :) Also one of the girls in my Masters' program got me the cutest little gifts that I'm pretty sure are directly from China...I felt bad though because her birthday was last Sunday (the 19th) but she didn't tell anyone because of finals. I've been making a special effort to talk to her because I think she's a little bit more shy with moving here so recently & also with the slight language barrier. She does have a boyfriend though which I just found out, how saucy!!
Mm last thing before the end-of-night study time - I'm taking a hip hop class! I love it & that's one of the things that I really wanted to do when I got out here. I'm happy I'm following through on that & my vegetarian ways. Anyways, miss you all! Thanks for all the birthday voicemails & love...phone calls have become way too stressful so I hope this will be an acceptable alternative.
<3
Oh PS: My first quote in a Stanford publication- click here!
We talked through a lot of things in the meeting & it was nice to hear his impression of me...he's a very relatable professor & he said that I seemed like an outgoing person who could potentially be a role model for a lot of people. He also said that he thinks I was the type to have a lot of friends in undergrad? (He also said he thought I would be in a sorority, which was definitely off) I think I took it for granted when people would say that type of stuff in GA but it was nice to hear from a really well-established professor here. It's also nice to feel like there are people here who are really invested in my success when there are a million other things they could be doing. I love Stanford :)
We also got down to what I think is the source of a lot of stress for me: I've never really learned how to ask for help? I'm not really that great at showing weaknesses either. I feel like I'm okay with admitting character or personality flaws (like how I'm not great at sustained human contact, I tend to make weird noises & voices, blablabla) but I have a hard time owning up to the things that I haven't quite figured out on my own yet. I'm sure a lot of that has to do with how I've been raised & the person that I am regardless of my environment but it's tough to fix. I need to learn how to ask questions more often without feeling dumb for not knowing every single answer. As he said (& I definitely agree), it will make me a better scientist and a better human being. It was also nice to hear from him that he thought I'd done really well here so far with adjusting after moving to the other side of the country & also the constructive criticism he had with moving forward in this next quarter. Hopefully I'll make some major improvements :) My goals are to try and be even more organized & to not feel pressured to study with the people I've become close with because they might not be the best study partners. It's a work in progress!
I am really fortunate though to feel so comfortable with a lot of the people here...one of my closest friends here has been feeling really homesick lately & I can't imagine what that would be like on top of all the stress with classes. So thankful for the people I'm close with! I think feeling a million times more comfortable with myself now has made the adjustment here much easier than the adjustment during freshman year of undergrad...WHAT.A.MESS.!!
As for the fun side of things - the party bus was RIDICULOUS! Holy moly, never in my life have I experienced such craziness. It was so nice hanging out with everyone & getting to share 1/3 of my birthday weekend with some amazing people. There were definitely some interesting moments with members of the opposite sex - I had SOOO much fun dancing with one of the guys that I hadn't really gotten to know before the trip but I don't think there's any attraction there. I will be requesting that he dances with me at every single event from now on though ;) I also had a weird conversation with one of the guys I initially had a crush on about "the last guy I dated"...I think the conversation was actually about if we could date each other? Strangest thing, I get so confused when there's a conversation that I'm actually having with a person and an entirely different subtext going on. Too much thinking!! I also got to hang out more with one guy that I really want to be close friends with (who also turns out to be a great snuggler, which is a huge bonus) & another guy that really confuses me/doesn't say words. People do say words when they're intoxicated though regardless of how shy they are so I got more information out of him about why he's taking a little bit longer to adjust to life out here. I wanted to try & be friends with him but that's too hard so...we can just be party friends. He's close friends with the snuggler though so maybe I'll make them food...I love being a veg out here but sometimes I think the crazy eating does not go over well for boys. Southern food is universal!! It still surprises me how many people really want to be in a relationship right now though...so not ready for that! I barely have enough free time for myself...
The rest of the birthday weekend was also really great...we went out to eat for dinner at this ramen place (RAMEN IS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN IT'S NOT IN A PACKAGE PEOPLE!!) followed up by boba. These are my absolute obsessions now. It was nice to have people celebrate with me - I've never really had a big group of people go somewhere with me to celebrate my birthday & there were 20 people at dinner! That's like 25% of our class, I felt so loved :) Also one of the girls in my Masters' program got me the cutest little gifts that I'm pretty sure are directly from China...I felt bad though because her birthday was last Sunday (the 19th) but she didn't tell anyone because of finals. I've been making a special effort to talk to her because I think she's a little bit more shy with moving here so recently & also with the slight language barrier. She does have a boyfriend though which I just found out, how saucy!!
Mm last thing before the end-of-night study time - I'm taking a hip hop class! I love it & that's one of the things that I really wanted to do when I got out here. I'm happy I'm following through on that & my vegetarian ways. Anyways, miss you all! Thanks for all the birthday voicemails & love...phone calls have become way too stressful so I hope this will be an acceptable alternative.
<3
Oh PS: My first quote in a Stanford publication- click here!
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