Ahhh!!

Haven't written an entry in over a month - whoa dude! This is what my life has consisted of lately (and if you look closely, you can see my pink & black headbands in the same row with my friend Hong-An in the pink shirt! This is our Neuro exam & yes, Stanford provided us with the rows and rows of MacBook Pros...too much)

There's so much I COULD write about - it's currently 4:38 in the morning & I can't sleep. I've gotten used to the finals schedule and can't get off of my screwed-up sleep/wake cycle just yet. EFFFF I hope this resolves itself soon. There have been boy problems, a lot of interesting life revelations especially the past 2/3 days, and general updates galore. BUT...my brain hurts. So this update is just a "Hey! I'm still alive" one - a real one with actual content to come soon :)

<3

Lessons for 2011

#1 I'm back in Palo Alto!!! So much stuff to get done today, but overall I'm happy to be back & I'm happy when I see my faves here...this is a good sign & very promising for this quarter

#2 It's freaking 2011!! It takes me approximately 6 months to adjust to writing the next year when I write the date so by June, I'll be comfortable with this year. Then the year changes so quickly...so dificil

#3 Seeing all my Georgia faves was amazing...really rejuvenating (though that also could have been the 10+ hours of sleep I was getting at home). Even though I absolutely adore a few people out here, I don't know that I've really adjusted to being my full jazzy self (read this as a general adjective similar to excited or enthused & not as a specific reference to Jasmaine Denice Williams, as I am categorically less jazzy with all the work here) with everyone here. There are so many strange things I do or like to say & I can't pull them all out of the box at once...or else I'm sure one of my MD friends would diagnose me with some sort of psychiatric illness (issue?) I miss the people at home, but I don't think I miss living in Georgia.

SOOOO resolutions for this year: (Everyone says they don't make them, but everyone does b/c why wouldn't you try to make this year better than the last??)

1. Pre-read for every class, no exceptions. Even if I'm exhausted. I really want to stay on top of things this quarter.
2. Asleep by 12:30 every night
3. Exercise of some sort...? My google searches over the break ranged from relatively expensive gym memberships in Palo Alto to hip hop classes to yoga classes to pole dancing classes...decisions have not been made on this front. Either way, I think I need to get out of my room more. I had a surprising thought to start working out early in the mornings before class, which caught me completely off-guard. If I do well with #2, maybe this will be possible?
4. Make a budget! (Shoutout to E.Hollz for the mint.com tip) I did okay last quarter...somehow I never end up broke (excluding first semester of freshman year) which is amazing, considering I never think about how much I'm spending. I want to try to save a little moola for when I move into an apartment so I can buy furniture & stuffz
5. Make a list of all the important people in my life that I need to keep in touch with & rotate through the list every couple of days to talk to all of those people. Horrible...h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e....HORRIBLE job at staying in contact last year, but I think it would have been entirely too overwhelming for me personally to try and do that. This quarter, my whole goal is "school/life balance". Constantly a work in progress...
6. Take vitamins (with a nice, nutritious breakfast since I'll be nice & well-rested)! Since the lady told me I could be screwing up my liver with taking iron tablets, I'm ceasing those. But I'll probably take omega-3's, ginkgo (maybe? I think my memory is getting worse but I don't want my blood to get all thin & whatnot), B complex, and MAYBE a real woman's vitamin to see how this goes over. I think it might be time to give up on my gummi vites...sad but true :(
7. Flossing.
8. More social time! More fun things & seeing all the cool things there are out here on the West Coast. There's lots of fun stuff planned already, I need to be careful not to overwhelm myself (social situations are so anxiety provoking sometimes!!)
9. Drink more water! (64 oz a day?)

I think that's it? General life balance is what I'm heading for. Every now & then, I have a fleeting interest in finding a cute boy to go on fun dates with but that seems like it would take too much energy. Maybe spring quarter :) After I finish this post, I'm going to make my vision board as the next step in this awesome life process

Slight rant before I continue this positivity movement: FREAKING STANFORD WON'T GIVE ME MY MONEY!!! Don't they know I have a credit card bill to pay off!? School supplies to buy!? Groceries to get!? Apparently, their system is "locking up" since I'm enrolled in two degree programs. Um, I'm almost positive I'm not the only one in Stanford history to ever get 2 degrees. WTF!? So mad, I had my whole day planned around making a cute, well-balanced grocery list & going to buy them and my school supplies today after I finished unpacking & making my vision board. #thanksatonLeland

Mmk I think that's it? For those not filled in on the boy information, all previous romantic interests (ranging from 7th grade until now) have been placed in the "Do Not Resuscitate" category (Too early in the quarter for medical jokes?) Miss you all!!!

<3 <3

FALL QUARTER:

Really hard.
Super stressful.
Finally over.

I've been thinking about what I can improve for next quarter but I think I need to take a complete mental break for a couple of days after I go home. Even thoughhhh I asked my PI to give me lots of papers to read & I ordered an 850 page book (The Biology of Cancer) to try and go through over the break...

...ok but seriously, I'm taking a break besides that! I just go crazy at home when there's nothing to do. Can't wait to lounge & see all the people I want to see.

Back to 24 on NetFlix! :)

1 exam down...

...2 to go. I think the first one went okay, I'm sending out all my good energy & hoping it comes back to me :) I have to finish my take-home final for genetics today & it's hard to get motivated right now. Somehow this Mike's hard (pink) lemonade ended up in my hands at 3 PM on a Monday? <3

Exhausted.

Barely passed biochem. So did everyone else. Spent a whole week making my sheets for the exam & they weren't even helpful. :/
I'm glad our (not-so-effective) prof wrote the test on things we didn't focus on in class.!!

So tired this week. With the biochem catastrophe plus the class sickness (part 2) going around again, I am 1000% worn out.

Can't wait for Thanksgiving. Seeing family/friends will be good but mostly for the break...

Lab is great. I've been so busy that I can't spend the time there that I want to. Looove my PI <3

I think I'm going to go to sleep...It's 8:15 but my mind feels like it's 3:00 AM tonight.

Better updates to come later!

Hallelujah!

The week is looking up :) Still 10 million things to do, but I feel much better about all of them now. So updates from the last post:

1. Still have to apply for NSF but I don't have to worry so much about my Stanford recommender anymore after talking to my program director which is nice. I still need to get everything together for it though...I'm also applying for the Ford Foundation Fellowship so maybe one of them will work out?

2. Got an email at 1:22 this morning from my dream PI saying "Welcome to the lab!" WAHOOOO!!! I guess I was going through some screening process I was unaware of but they must like me at least a little bit. So excited! I'm hopefully starting work this week. Can.Not.Wait.!! I really love the work they're doing & I'm just anxious to be a lab rat again.

3. Moonlighting was pretty awesome! So fun hanging out with everyone as usual, a few drunken mishaps but nothing major...overall wonderful :) I'll post a pic at the end of this

4. Just got back from brunch & grocery shopping...it's rainy outside today so I'm not feeling like going to the potluck for BGSA & I didn't end up going to the Shaking the Foundations thing for the law school since I was pretty busy Friday & Saturday. (By busy, I partially mean napping...)

5. Generally feel much happier & back in balance again...what a nice feeling :) Here's to trying to keep that up throughout the week

Good times! Off to try & get work done before the napping feelings take over. Adios <3

Made it through finals!!

(And I think I passed too...)

A special shoutout to all the people who let me have a mini-breakdown with them this week :)

Lessons learned from mini-quarter:
1. Med school is hard.
2. Med school is doable.
3. Stress makes people crazy (myself included, though only temporarily!)
4. I'm actually nocturnal.
5. Comparing myself to other people is worthless.

The stress of finals definitely helped me understand who people really are here...which is helpful, but sometimes frightening. There is already a small group of potheads?! (I guess this is NorCal...) I was talking to one of my friends in the car last night on the way to boba & she seemed impressed with how well I'd gotten to know a few people here. I really like having deep conversations...and I think if I kept things superficial with everyone here for too long, I'd definitely feel far from home & all my closest friends. Plus, I made a promise to myself before I came here that I'd be completely honest about who I am with people from the start & I think if you do that with people you meet, you find you have a lot more in common that you would have anticipated. So I have definitely started becoming closer to people already, which is great.

My birthday is Sunday, yesss!! I couldn't have been born at a more perfect time. :) To celebrate finals being done & the three birthdays, we're taking a party bus up to San Francisco tonight! There will be bodyguards & anatomically correct desserts involved...this may be the biggest birthday celebration I've ever experienced? We also have a lab coat ceremony tonight which should be cute. Goal for the night? STAY.ALIVE.!! I think some people will have trouble with this...

Anywho, off to go shopping & figure out a place to get my hair done! More updates to come :)