Reader Discretion Advised

EVENTS OF THE DAY:
1. Sawed off a man's skull.
2. Went to AsiaSF for Dine About Town with med school peeps for dinner tonight...this is a restaurant where all of the waitresses are transgender ladies
3. Had a very graphic/interesting conversation about heterosexual male sexual preferences from my favorite homosexual male at Stanford (well, maybe tied? there's two faves). Wtf, I thought I'd heard it all then he told me about "donkey punch" !?!!?

Needless to say, today has been quite an interesting day. Anatomy was slightly disturbing - not worse than the day we sawed off the legs for me but a very close second. The lab was filled with what looked like a combination of saw dust & parmesan cheese (sorry for the potentially inappropriate food reference...) while everyone was busy sawing through their skulls. The smell was really the worst part of it all...it was unexpected and unlike any other smell we've experience thus far in lab. The smoke from incinerating the bits of skin left on the skull is apparently why it smelled so...strangely?...and I really did not expect that. I put a mask on pronto. I tried to use the bone saw for a little bit in my group but I don't think I have enough upper body strength for it & having to try and force it only made the whole situation that much more real. I opted for skinning the skull instead (which I realize may not sound like a more humane task, but it really is). A few of the MD peeps posted about how incredible it is that someone would donate their body for this type of learning, which I fully agree with. They also said that they asked about how to donate their bodies after lab, which I still think I will never do. Totally down with someone else using my organs after I'm done with them but something about what we're doing to their bodies seems like you'd never be able to rest in peace. There were quite a few times in lab today where we had to turn him over to saw a specific part of his skull or look at this particular cranial nerve & since we still have his entire torso (as opposed to just his head, like most of the other groups) but only concerned with his head academically, it was impossible to flip him over without his intestines falling out one way or his heart rolling across the table. I don't think it's so much a religious/moral issue for me with donating my body to science as it is how I'd like to treat any prized possession I've had my entire life. If someone else wanted to take my favorite piece of jewelry or pair of jeans & wear them after I was done, I'd be okay with that. I wouldn't want them to just hack it up to see what the insides look like? Meh, different strokes for different folks...

Again, DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS! AsiaSF was very very interesting...the girls were mostly in amazing shape. Makes a girl want to work out! (maybe) One of the girls had apparently just gotten the final shebang so there were lots of references to "the grand opening" and the fact she had "an extra pair of lips". Gahhhh so caught off guard! Fun night though, even though the food wasn't super super delicious. I'm sure there will be pics on fb soon ;)

Sex is such a weird thing. Right? I understand it's basic to human survival or whatever but I think I have such a strange group of friends that I'm never quite sure how to feel about it as a conversation topic. I have two, maybe three, distinct groups of friends when it comes to sexual opinions - (1) Sex is bad/morally wrong-ish before marriage. (2) Sex is good. It happens. People probably shouldn't discuss it publicly and/or enjoy it too much though. (3) Sex is a-m-a-z-i-n-g!!! Do wild crazy unimaginable, possibly illegal things.

I think moving from a small town (Stockbridge) to a more liberal town (Athens), and then from the South (Georgia) to the West Coast (Cali) is really a study in the breadth of sexual opinions. I think my initial high school discussions of sex were pretty frank...I was friends with girls who were pretty much in the same sexual boat, with us all having our first serious boyfriends (I think?) and figuring out what sex meant & what our boundaries were and how far we could push things with still living in our parents' houses. My parents had never really talked to me about sex & with a shockingly pregnant sister in the house senior year of high school, there was really no time to discuss these types of things with la madre. Great. Fast-forward to freshman year at UGA, where I had this really serious boyfriend & mostly single friends, and all of a sudden I was the most experienced one among the people I hung out with. Huh!? I remember being really uncomfortable with that, and feeling the need to lie because I was still confused about a lot of sexual things when there was no one to discuss it with. Then I was relatively single for junior & senior year of undergrad when a lot of my friends decided it was a good time to get into their first serious relationships. I think there's some disadvantages to doing this later in young adulthood but I think one major advantage of starting to think about what your sexuality means in college is that for the most part, you have the freedom to do so. There aren't really any boundaries or rules you're supposed to follow. Which there definitely are in high school. (Momma's rhetoric was something like the guy's from the Mean Girls - "Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and you will die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't it!! Promise?) I think a lot of my friends are much more liberated when it comes to their opinions on sex because of that. But then I'm also still friends with a few prudes (teeheehee) so I'm never sure exactly where I fit in that spectrum. Who knows man?? No one has a "normal" opinion on sex, I'm just always surprised to hear new sides of the people in my life that I thought I knew pretty well.

Um, I think that's it? There was a new pairing within the med school class that I found out about today that is...surprising. People are all about the hooking up right now. I had a nice thought yesterday, which is that I'm pretty happily single. Because if a really amazing guy came along tomorrow, I really wouldn't have any time to spend on him or with him. Then he'd probably be sad, and who would want the amazing guy to be sad?? I told one of my friends today that it'd be perfect if he came along right after I took qualifying exams next year. She reminded me that I can't exactly plan these things...I did have a moment of missing Brien (Boston Brien, not home Brian obviii) last night because we got along so so well & always laughed together. I'd be okay with him coming back after he got his stuff together & I passed quals ;) I really am starting to appreciate the importance of balance in my life & what that looks like and (sort of) how to get there from where I am now. I think it's a really hard thing, and something you have to work at consciously every day. That's more of what I'm trying to do this quarter & hopefully it will only go up from here. So far, so good

Happy Wednesday!! <3

Neuro=Cookies

The person upstairs is making SO.MUCH.NOISE. Sex? Jumping jacks? Hammering something? Whatever it is, I mentally implore you to stop. I would walk upstairs but I'm not good at the whole jerky neighbor thing. I've had some very aggressive reactions to noise lately (the people I can hear outside my window in the courtyard, the trucks that I hear every.single.morning., general interruptions to me thinking/studying/sleeping) which I think is an indication that I need to move into a quiet, residential area prontooooo. I really want to get an apartment sooner rather than later. And I'll definitely be getting a place by myself. Munger is not the place for me. And neither is anything with more than 1 bedroom. My roommate is okay, but she's getting progressively messier/lazier and even though I'm not the cleanest, most efficient person in the world, it's getting a little too annoying. Really not good at dealing with other people's shortcomings. I also don't like people trying to keep track of me (i.e, "I never see you!" Uh, duh? I'm taking 25 hours and doing research, I only see the people who are in those places. I didn't come to grad school to become MORE social...) #endofrant

We get cookies every week after neuro lab, hooray!!! I think this is a great way to encourage attendance and general happiness about the material. Not sure why everyone is not doing the same for our classes? This is also one of the few classes, maybe the only class, I have with a combination of med students, grad students and undergrads. It's fun :) I'm also trying to keep up with the neuro stuff so it wasn't too too confusing today. I always love it when that happens...

LONG WEEKEND COMING!! "Eurotrash" party tomorrow (still have to figure out what that means) and probably just sleeping and studying besides that. I loooovvveeee having a day off, even though I'll probably still go to lab on Monday? Study time!

<3

1.11.11.

One of my classmates made the astute observation that we only have more year when we'll get this repeating date phenomenon (although technically, he should have waited until November to say such a thing). I mean, until the year 3000. Which I probably won't be around then & I'm thinking you guys won't either. Sad that there's no 13th month so we can keep this thing going. So sad, I'll miss it.

The New Things:
I really don't enjoy when people call me a bitch. Even jokingly. One of my friends did that today in class and it bothered me. Which is weird, bc I think it's really funny when someone says something about another person/group of people & I get to say "betch/betches". I don't know why the word "bitch" sounds so much harsher than saying "betch". Mean Girls maybe?

We've coined this new term here at Stanford, "sniper". Similar to gunner but different in one very important way - a sniper keeps his/her lofty study goals private. My goal this quarter? To be a sniper. I don't want to be hypercompetitive in the least but I really want to stay on top of everything this quarter - I've been trying to pre-read for lectures and take lots of notes in class and go a little bit above and beyond to make sure I'm doing well this quarter. Jasmaine = sniper until further notice...

I've been watching Bones as my newest NetFlix obsession!

Anatomy of the head and neck is not as disturbing as I anticipated. We dissected most of the scalp & around the eyes today...it helps that the eyes look nothing like a living human being's eyes. Doesn't help that our man has stubble...it humanizes him just a little bit too much. Still, it's very interesting. Especially with my dad having Bell's Palsy right now, I care about the facial nerve (Cranial Nerve VII dudes) just a little bit more than I would normally.

I think that's it? Really excited for the long weekend. Might be going up to Berkeley to hang out on Sunday. There's a party this weekend too (apparently, there's a party every weekend this quarter) but I think I might need to get some rest in. We'll see.

LATA DUDES

Just got paid, Friday nightttttt :)

Def got my refund today & spent lots of money paying off my credit card bill and buying delicious (and mostly healthy!) groceries...

STORIES FROM TODAY:

1. Totally got in a bike crash this morning on my way to class. This undergrad just randomly decides to stop in the middle of an intersection (!!!) so I 100% T-boned her bike. Stanford undergrads are supposed to be the cream of the crop, right? The bottom of my shoe was broken (...I need to buy new black flats anyways) but other than that **no humans were harmed in this accident** I do need to brush up on what happens if indeed I get in an accident where someone is hurt, obvi

2. Ginkgo biloba is.the.shiznit. I bought it today & will 100% be including this in my new vitamin regimen

3. Evaluation of the first week of classes: There is a TON of stuff in your brain. For real for real. This quarter will require lots & lots of focus. I figured out that if I draw pretty pictures on my notes and write in more colors, I pay more attention. Learning about what weed does to your brain is also an effective attention strategy...

4. Just made an amaretto sour with grenadine. Favorite.drink.ever! (or rather, favorite drink for right now)

5. Did you guys know it's a California state law that you can't return alcohol? Learned that the hard way after buying a $20 bottle of Disaronno at Safeway and finding a $6 bottle of amaretto at Trader Joe's. :( Probably not a horrible thing that I have extra liquor laying around though...it's going to be a looonnngggg quarter

I think that's it? Weekend plans are pretty awesome - chilling/studying tonight, potluck at a friend's house tomorrow afternoon, UCSF/Stanford mixer tomorrow night in San Fran. Wahoooo!! TGIF

<3

PS I've been hearing rumors that there was some sort of earthquake in NorCal...? Didn't feel a thing

Lessons for 2011

#1 I'm back in Palo Alto!!! So much stuff to get done today, but overall I'm happy to be back & I'm happy when I see my faves here...this is a good sign & very promising for this quarter

#2 It's freaking 2011!! It takes me approximately 6 months to adjust to writing the next year when I write the date so by June, I'll be comfortable with this year. Then the year changes so quickly...so dificil

#3 Seeing all my Georgia faves was amazing...really rejuvenating (though that also could have been the 10+ hours of sleep I was getting at home). Even though I absolutely adore a few people out here, I don't know that I've really adjusted to being my full jazzy self (read this as a general adjective similar to excited or enthused & not as a specific reference to Jasmaine Denice Williams, as I am categorically less jazzy with all the work here) with everyone here. There are so many strange things I do or like to say & I can't pull them all out of the box at once...or else I'm sure one of my MD friends would diagnose me with some sort of psychiatric illness (issue?) I miss the people at home, but I don't think I miss living in Georgia.

SOOOO resolutions for this year: (Everyone says they don't make them, but everyone does b/c why wouldn't you try to make this year better than the last??)

1. Pre-read for every class, no exceptions. Even if I'm exhausted. I really want to stay on top of things this quarter.
2. Asleep by 12:30 every night
3. Exercise of some sort...? My google searches over the break ranged from relatively expensive gym memberships in Palo Alto to hip hop classes to yoga classes to pole dancing classes...decisions have not been made on this front. Either way, I think I need to get out of my room more. I had a surprising thought to start working out early in the mornings before class, which caught me completely off-guard. If I do well with #2, maybe this will be possible?
4. Make a budget! (Shoutout to E.Hollz for the mint.com tip) I did okay last quarter...somehow I never end up broke (excluding first semester of freshman year) which is amazing, considering I never think about how much I'm spending. I want to try to save a little moola for when I move into an apartment so I can buy furniture & stuffz
5. Make a list of all the important people in my life that I need to keep in touch with & rotate through the list every couple of days to talk to all of those people. Horrible...h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e....HORRIBLE job at staying in contact last year, but I think it would have been entirely too overwhelming for me personally to try and do that. This quarter, my whole goal is "school/life balance". Constantly a work in progress...
6. Take vitamins (with a nice, nutritious breakfast since I'll be nice & well-rested)! Since the lady told me I could be screwing up my liver with taking iron tablets, I'm ceasing those. But I'll probably take omega-3's, ginkgo (maybe? I think my memory is getting worse but I don't want my blood to get all thin & whatnot), B complex, and MAYBE a real woman's vitamin to see how this goes over. I think it might be time to give up on my gummi vites...sad but true :(
7. Flossing.
8. More social time! More fun things & seeing all the cool things there are out here on the West Coast. There's lots of fun stuff planned already, I need to be careful not to overwhelm myself (social situations are so anxiety provoking sometimes!!)
9. Drink more water! (64 oz a day?)

I think that's it? General life balance is what I'm heading for. Every now & then, I have a fleeting interest in finding a cute boy to go on fun dates with but that seems like it would take too much energy. Maybe spring quarter :) After I finish this post, I'm going to make my vision board as the next step in this awesome life process

Slight rant before I continue this positivity movement: FREAKING STANFORD WON'T GIVE ME MY MONEY!!! Don't they know I have a credit card bill to pay off!? School supplies to buy!? Groceries to get!? Apparently, their system is "locking up" since I'm enrolled in two degree programs. Um, I'm almost positive I'm not the only one in Stanford history to ever get 2 degrees. WTF!? So mad, I had my whole day planned around making a cute, well-balanced grocery list & going to buy them and my school supplies today after I finished unpacking & making my vision board. #thanksatonLeland

Mmk I think that's it? For those not filled in on the boy information, all previous romantic interests (ranging from 7th grade until now) have been placed in the "Do Not Resuscitate" category (Too early in the quarter for medical jokes?) Miss you all!!!

<3 <3

Ooh also!

Would like to share 2 of my most favorite ads I've seen recently:

"Google can't satisfy every search"
(An ad at some "place of awakening" right up the street, particularly poignant given its location in Palo Alto)

"How would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?"
(An encouraging reminder to turn the lights off when leaving the rooms at Stanford)

With my limited advertising expertise, I give these both an A++ :)

FALL QUARTER:

Really hard.
Super stressful.
Finally over.

I've been thinking about what I can improve for next quarter but I think I need to take a complete mental break for a couple of days after I go home. Even thoughhhh I asked my PI to give me lots of papers to read & I ordered an 850 page book (The Biology of Cancer) to try and go through over the break...

...ok but seriously, I'm taking a break besides that! I just go crazy at home when there's nothing to do. Can't wait to lounge & see all the people I want to see.

Back to 24 on NetFlix! :)